Women's Health - marykatekopec.com

Perimenopausal Depression

perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs.

Perimenopausal Depression

Hello Beautiful Blossom!

Today, let’s talk perimenopausal depression … cuz I’ve just experienced my first true/serious bouts of it … and it suuuuuuuuuuuuucks!

Let me start off by saying, “Holey Shiz Fuzzbuckers.” I’d use the real words, but I try to keep my site pure and clean, lol, but for realz.

But seriously. Perimenopausal depression is HARD.

Let’s get some basics about me:

I’m not usually a depressed kinda human.
However, in my formative years, I experienced complex-multiple trauma, so I’ve been through shiz and know depression intimately.
Until recently, my perimenopasual transitioning hormones have been creating a “phenomenon” I refer to as the “sobbies,” similar to the “weepies,” but bigger and harder.
- Weepies … you get a little emotional, maybe a tear or two slips out.
- Sobbies … your face melts, your chest aches, and you cry like the world is falling apart. However, strangely, you can feel completely emotionally ok … like, I’ve been sobbing my face off while thinking about what I want to do when my hormones get done making me cry. It’s sorta an outta body experience.

What Does Perimenopausal Depression Feel Like?

OK. With that foundation, lemme describe the perimenopausal depression I have recently experienced.

It started gradually. It’s a bit like a silent creeper. I felt a little down. But nothing big. Nothing worth even really noting.

As the hours ticked by, I noticed I got gloomier and gloomier. Isolated. Lost. Feeling terribly defeated. Thinking: what’s the point? Why live if this is life?

And before I could fully process what was happening, I was deeply, darkly depressed. A heavy black blanket of suffocation weighed down on me.

No motivation.

No willpower.

Just misery. And darkness.

And then the tears. Rivers of tears.

And then as if by the kisses of love fairies and the light of the stars come to rescue me, my hormones would release me from their horrible spell, and I would suddenly be my usual bright self, as though I’d never felt deeply depressed at all.

Important Takeaways When Coping With Perimenopausal Depression

My takeaways to share with you:

The power of your hormones is IMMENSE.
Your hormones can take you from beautiful you to devastated you with such stealth, you may not even realize it’s your hormones. You might think you a truly a depressed person. (In the time that the hormones are doing whatever they are doing in your body to cause the perimenopausal depression, YOU ARE TRULY DEPRESSED!)
Don’t try to navigate this alone. My episodes so far have only lasted about 8 hours (THANK THE STARS!!!!), but I’ve felt so badly, I consider my wellness state compromised and requiring assistance. Hug your honeybun. Call a friend. Keep a loving human nearby to hold you and help you. It’s that scary serious!)
Talk to your doctor.
Talk to your therapist (I have mine on speed-text.).
Self-Care to Sunshining MAX!!!!

This perimenopausal depression is so deep it CAN / WILL SHUT YOU DOWN. Your life activities stop. Until you get through it, you are outta commission. It’s non-negotiable. Your hormones are fully in charge, and you have to ride the ride. And it is a shizzy ride. You’ll want off of it so badly. You’ll cry. You’ll beg your body to be kind.

So, again. Do not try this at home, alone. Or at work. Or anywhere. Have someone with you. Someone you can hold on tight to.

And know. It will not last forever.

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs! Perimenopausal Depression Coping.

Self-Care & Coping Through Perimenopausal Depression

A couple of quick notes for self-care that I have found especially helpful:

ANY stress (mental, emotional, &/or physical) will upset your hormone balance, and for some, like me, even a small amount of stress can do it. So DE-STRESS!!!!
Yoga! In everything that I’ve read, the number one go to for all hormones challenges in the movement category is Yoga. Not walking. Not running. Not any other form of movement.
Ujjayi breathing … quiet space … 5 minutes of this … everyday … life-changer!
Hugs, more hugs, and more hugs!
Having your loved-one gently rub your back, down your arms, the base of your neck … the connection makes a helpful difference while you are suffering.
Having your loved-one gently talk you through. Remind you this won’t last forever. You will get through this.
Coloring, creating, arting.

In all of the reading and researching I’ve done, I can tell you the big helpful push is to get your stress levels down and your oxytocin levels up!

Note: Oxytocin is a happy hormone in your body that can reduce the cortisol (stress hormone) levels in your body created by … you guessed it, stress! When your body makes cortisol (when you are stressed mentally, emotionally, or physically), it makes less of estrogen and progesterone (exacerbating your imbalanced and transitioning hormones during perimemopause … which makes your symptoms, like depression, worse.)

Read this great article at Healthline for how to get your Oxytocin levels up!

Well, Beautiful Blossom, I really hope this has helped you understand perimenopausal depression better. I hope it gives you some ideas for how to cope with and navigate this challenge. I hope you get the love, help, encouragement, and support you need to help you cope better, more healthily, and get you back on your happy feet as soon as possible!

I’ve linked a number of my posts on My Body Is an Alien blog series … all about hormones and perimenopause/menopause. You can click to dig in deeper and get a more comprehensive understanding.

I hope you feel better soon!

I’m hugging you SO BIG!!!

And remember … always, always, always, reach out to your care team for support! That’s what they are there for!

Be well, Beautiful!!!

Love you!

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Happiness During the Pandemic?

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Happiness during the pandemic?

Hello Beautiful Blossom! Is happiness during the pandemic possible?

The question at hand: Can you have happiness during the pandemic? Is it possible? Or happiness during any difficult life change for that matter … is it possible?

I think so.

Honestly.

It’s not always easy … at first, especially … but it’s possible!

And I’m going to share with you how I found happiness during the pandemic and other difficult times in my life in hopes my experiences can help you find new joys and feel better … super soon!

Right up front, I want to reassure you, I’m not talking oversimplified, fluffed-up B.S. here. I’m not going to tell you some overly positive, unrealistic, useless crap.

I’m going to give you concrete, reality-based, helpful insight to help you!

Concrete, Reality-based, Helpful Insight

Let’s start with acknowledging how hard living can be in unusual times. Be it a pandemic. Leaving behind all that you know to have to start over in a new place. Unexpected career change. Or how about a change in relationship status?

When we’ve been living life as we see it, happily, and to suddenly get uprooted and lose the familiar, the comfort, the safety, the security, or whatever was making us happy … when we lose what we are used to … it can be very unsettling … and very upsetting.

Yet …

There’s something to be said for breaking routine … getting out of your comfort zone … trying something new. … Hang with me here … give me a second to show you where I’m going with this.

When we do the same things over and over, day after day, our chances to face new challenges diminish.

We can stunt our own growth. Our readiness to adapt can fade.

Think of it as Use It or Lose It.

Personal MK Short Story Time with Big Time Enlightening Insight

About five years ago, I was at the peak of my chronic fatigue/lethargy/muscle weakness challenges. I spent most of every day and every night in bed. Sometimes sleeping for up to 21 hours at a time, to wake up for 3 hours, and then find myself fully spent and going right back to bed.

Adding to this, my honeybun and I were living in Philly for Honeybun’s work … far away from home … and very different from our nature-y, Midwest life in Michigan.

It was a depressing and difficult time.

We lived for my “good days/moments!” But when we got them, all the things we would normally do for fun and happiness weren’t there. The life we loved was left back in Michigan, and we felt stuck.

There came a day when I was Skyping (old school to today’s Zoom) with a friend, and I was telling her about my woeful concerns and challenges, and she replied with the most amazing, supportive, but assertive words ever!

“Well, if you can’t rebuild your Michigan life in Philly, then find new Philly things. Try that and see if you can build new happiness.”

How Did I NOT See that?

Wuuuuuut????

How simple. And so obvious.

How had I not been able to just see it? How I had not been able to just ask myself that question?

It was being stuck IN the moment, not being able to see such a straightforward solution.

It’s like when you can’t see forest for the trees.

Sometimes you just need a fresh perspective. An outside eye. Someone else independent of your view … the look of someone on the outside looking in to see what you can’t or don’t.

It was one of those conversational lightbulb moments that comes with the opportunity to heal and grow!

Since honeybun and I both had latent loves for photography and nature, we chatted and did some research, and before you know it, we were both geared up with digital cameras and a list of nearby gardens to visit. And next good day, we bolted out the door with excitement! This has led to new, cool friends and sustained life goodness!

Applying what I learned … turned into pandemic readiness!

So fast-forward to the early days of the pandemic and all the shutdowns and isolations.

I was ready.

I knew the drill.

Instead of getting lost in the depression of losing life as we knew it or our way of living … we just created new pandemic-life things to do for us.

Even as the pandemic has dragged on ruthlessly and unkindly … we have continued to grow new ideas and activities into our days.

I still have debilitating health challenges. It’s a dangerous world out there for me. So isolation is really our best plan.

But isolation is so … lonely … and potentially disconnected.

True.

But with the pandemic came Zoom. I immediately sought out connectivity via Zoom. I rethought my plans and grew in happy activities I could do in the safety of our space. And when our little spot in the universe (Starry Cottage was finally built and ready for living), we dug in and have created happy spaces throughout our home to support a healthy, active, engaging, fun life … even in the pandemic.

Now, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you pandemic living is awesome. Pandemic living has a big ol’ SUCKS!!!!!!! attached to it.

Do we miss getting out and playing in nature not just in our backyard? Hells yes.

Do we miss seeing our peeps in person? Yessssssssssssssss.

Do we miss the living freedoms we had before the pandemic hit? Hells to the yes a million times over and over.

We even miss the simplicity of going shopping without being afraid for my life. As such, I’ve not been inside a store, grocery or otherwise, in nearly 2 years.

But like living in Philly. It wasn’t about rebuilding the life we had in MI. That was impossible. (The places, people, nature, and opportunities are all different … plus, our friends and family were all back home, plus, Philly is WAY more expensive!!!)

It was about building a new life filled with happiness in a space we had to be in – Philly.

What we’re really talking about here …

And that’s where we are today. It’s not about building a permanent pandemic life – hopefully (and if so, we’ll cross that bridge when it gets here). It’s about adapting and coping and growing.

And the truth of it is … with these challenges, when you seek to find the happinesses that will help you manage the challenge you face … you can grow new goodnesses into your life.

Philly forever gave us photography (and new friendships)! And I also learned how to digi-doodle and art! And how to video call.

All of these have been amazing helps during the pandemic!

Like Philly, the pandemic has given me gifts of happy growth as well!

The pandemic has given me the opportunity to grow my wellness through yoga (thank the stars for Yoga With Adriene!!!) and learning and growing an anti-inflammatory life (foods and activities for healthy, happy wellness).

I am a better, happier person!

I’ve met some amazing people in faraway places like Australia and the UK, and even way up in Canada … people, that sans pandemic, there would never have been a need, an impetus, to reach out to and grow into my life.
I have substantially grown my digi-doodling and digi-arting capabilities! I lose myself in my creating space … and my creative expression flows out of me with silly happiness!
I enjoy watching Bog TV (we have about an acre of nature behind our backyard to just sit and watch the trees, furry and flying and crawling creatures, the cattails flourishing in the bog, the ever changing sky, the stars … all of it) – being mindful and present, and sharing time with my honeybun.
I have found a bit of me that I never knew was there, and I’m getting to know this new me … and loving her! I’m way PINKer than I ever knew. I’ve always been a lover and a helper, but I’ve found my light amongst the stars and here on earth. I’m feeling a bubbling excitement that’s new and fun. It’s making me smile bigger and brighter. I LOVE this feeling!!!

So does living in pandemic times have a tremendous suck factor? Sure.

But does that have to be all it is? NO!

Can it be better than missing the way life used to be? OHMIGOSH, YEEEEEESSSSS!

It’s Your Turn!!!

So let’s get you up outta that stuck rut! Let’s get you finding your new happy things!

Let’s get you past waiting for happiness to come back to you in “life as it was” returned.

Honestly … there’s real truth in the statement, “There’s no going back.” Or “you can’t go back.” There’s no going back and you can’t go back, because that moment is gone forever. You are in a new moment. You are in a new time. With new things.

Life will never be the same as it was before.

It’s basic logic.
Basic fact.
We’ve seen too many new things and experienced too many new experiences.
Life and its gifts and challenges continue to roll at us.

We grow. We change. We evolve.

Or we stay stuck, lamenting. Disappointed. Unhappy.

Let’s grow you, blossom!

You are beautiful! You have so much happiness and goodness inside of you! What is that thing? Or things you’ve always wanted to try? Or do? Which one or ones will work for you in this moment of time?

Let’s help you let go of a life gone and blossom in your new life!

Your Happiness During Hard Times (the pandemic) Checklist!

I hope sharing my experience has given you insight into possibilities for your life. Sparked ideas for you that will help you grow happiness into your days, no matter where you are or what big shiz is happening out in the world.

In summary:

Don’t wait around for the “the way it was” … it’s not coming back. It can’t. You’re a different person now than you were then … life changes us … so even if you could go back, it still wouldn’t be the same, cuz you’re not the same.
- Accept that your life and life around you is moving forward.
Ask yourself, “What new thing or things can you grow into your life that work for you now?”
Find and create ways to grow these things into your life.
Grow forward.
- Let go of the past.
- Love the parts of the past that were wonderful.
- Appreciate the parts of your past that helped you grow and be a better you … a more defined you … a you with interests and ideas and abilities.
- Give gratitude for all the parts of the past … even the hard ones.
  - They have helped shaped you into the person you are today with your current strengths and gifts and love to share!
- Give gratitude for having a today to live and find and grow a happier, healthier you!

Well, Blossom, I give gratitude for any and all the help this sharing gifts you with! (I’m hoping it’s lots and lots!!!!)

You are beautiful! You are precious! You are loved!

Give yourself the time you need to love you!!!

Thank you for sharing this time with me!!! Hugging you so big!

Overcoming Negative Thoughts

A Page from MK’s Journal: Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Hello Sweet Friends,

Recently, I had to go for a mammogram and ultrasound … to investigate “a spot.”

With gratitude, I can tell you, I was given the all-clear.

But the days (and month … thanks to delayed scheduling during the pandemic) leading up to my appointment were a struggle.

Negative thoughts. Anxious thoughts. The what-ifs. The scary drama train I was riding. My brain kept trying to derail into darkness.

Thankfully my coping and wellness toolbox is chock-full of helpful images, positivity, affirmations, activities, … tools of the survival trade.

Even so, I was having a bit of a challenge after a month of build up and waiting, so the few days before my appointment, I started feeling anxious. That horrid jittery energy that frazzles in your chest? … Had it. Insomnia? … Yep, that, too.

I started having lots of little physical manifestations from the negative, anxious mental and emotional challenges I was facing … from being told there might be something wrong with me physically.

Oh, how the cycle goes round and round. Well, actually, mental, emotional, and physical health are interconnected, not so much cyclically … more dynamically interconnected … tweak one and they all get tweaked.

So, there I was, starting to feel my body cave. I knew I needed to get to self-caring on MAXIMAL SUPER BIG TIME to stop the train from wrecking, and wrecking me with it.

Time to try something new! Time to grow my toolbox.

The universe heard me, and as I pulled up my Yoga With Adriene playlist, YouTube made a suggestion: Let It Go Flow with Adriene.

Yes, please!

If you’ve heard me say it once, you’ve probably heard me say it a million times – Yoga With Adriene is an angel on earth! She helps me heal, and I luvs her SO MUCH! (Maybe someday I’ll even get to meet her … there’s a happy thought!)

I definitely recommend yoga in your toolbox. Yoga is scientifically and medically shown to improve your health … in all the ways (mental, emotional, and physical)!

But for today, I want to share a bit from this Yoga With Adriene: Let It Go Flow. It resonated so BIG with me that following my healing practice with her, I immediately hopped into my journal and started creating new journal pages to go with my daily living practice!

Amazing Reminders from Yoga With Adriene!

In her Let It Go Flow, Adriene shares the following:

“Don’t give up on yourself.

“There are so many things that are out of your control,

“But there’s one thing absolutely in your control

“And it’s you, your thoughts, your energy, how you treat your body, how you use your thoughts, your energy and your body, hey-o”

And Adriene offers the following 2 mantras:

1st Mantra:

“Everything is as it should be.

“… This is acceptance.”

2nd Mantra:

“The universe is for me, and so is everything else.” Adriene’s mom

And in a her Yoga For When You Are SICK video, she also mentions “Yoga as a medicine for life.”

These are some of her words that resonate with me so deeply! And so I’ve journaled them. To remind myself regularly, no matter which daily practice I am doing with her.

Reflecting on Yoga With Adriene’s Words of Healing Wisdom

Adriene’s guidance, words, and wisdom reminds me to:

Focus on what I can do … I can let go of negative thoughts, and let flow the positive thoughts.

Instead of “What if there is something bad about to happen?” how about “What if something good is about to happen?”

I am a beautiful vessel of healing.

I nurture and nourish my wellness with care, so I can blossom brightly. My loving efforts create healing, and help avert illness.

With this mental power fueling me and helping me cope and feel calmer, I hopped into my journal to create some pages to hold me.

Adriene’s words, the words of her mother, and my reflections along with the artwork I was inspired to create (written and shown in this post) are my journaling for my healing, and they helped me cope through my mammogram day.

They helped me overcome negative thoughts.

I now have these words and images as daily (or as needed) loving reminders in my toolbox, and I love them!

You might’ve noticed I used the same flower art for 2 different positudes. That’s the beauty of it being my journal. I can doodle art it up and write whatever works for me, and I just love, love, love how my flower turned out, and it felt right for both of my positudes. So, I doubled up for big hugging loves!

I hope these words, reflections, and positudes help you overcome negative thoughts, too!

May your heart be light and filled with PINK! May your smile be bright! May you feel my giant loving hug I’m squeezing you with right now!

The Power of a Smile!

The power of a smile!

Okay Beautiful Blossoms … let’s not complicate this one. A smile is POWERFUL! It is an instant pick-me-up! Even if you fake it, a smile will do good things to your body!!!

It’s chemical, people! We have Happy Hormones!

You smile; your facial muscles move; your brain gets triggered; feel good chemicals get released; and voila … instant mood lifter!!!!

So what are you waiting for?

Are you smiling right now? Why not? … You could be … !!!

You’ll note the upturned corners of my mouth … my teeth beaming … my cheeks rounded and up … it’s as though my lips are stretching to meet my ears.

You smile, you feel better! Easy peasy!

What’s not to love?

A heartfelt moment to be seriously serious.

I’m actually totally serious above, even if a bit silly. But as a blossom challenged by perimenopausal hormone shifts, fluctuating hormone turbulence, and a state of ever depleting estrogen and progesterone levels, I get these horrible, terrible, life-crashing, grief-striking bouts of sobbing tears accompanied by incomprehensible bereft feelings that clench my stomach and make eyes leak like rivers.

These moments totally suck!!!

So … for my beautiful blossom who suffer depression, anxiety (I have that, too, and I know how bad anxiety bites the biggy, too.), etc, … if you’ve got a regular case of the “sads” or “scaredy cats,” I just want you to know … I’ve tried with every PINK molecule and energy light in my body to smile in these sobbing moments, and I’m usually NOT successful.

In these acute moments, sometimes we have to give ourselves the necessary time to process the moment.

THEN, as soon as we can, we can smile to help continue our upward journey take us upward faster and happier!

And might I also just add … if you are a blossom with clinical depression and/or anxiety, please keep seeing your therapist, doing your therapy in all its many forms, and please keep healing! Smile when you can, cuz it really does help! And know we are here for you in the biggest loving, hugging way possible!!! Holding you on your journey and helping you get to the other side of your challenge!

Know that you are always welcome here! Know that I am hugging you so big! And with so much love!

I really hope my smiles, hugs, and loves, in all their forms can bring joy into your day and life, and help to brighten your spirits!

Quick Highlights Benefits of Smiling

Studies have shown the simple act of smiling is the fastest way to perk you up and brighten your day. Even if you “make yourself” smile … it still releases your brainz happy juices!
Stress reducer
Immune system booster (makes you healthier)
Pain reducer
Lowers your BP
In short … a true kindness to you!!!!
And … it’s a kindness that can be shared for free!!!!

What can you do right now to help you smile?

As you likely know, I’ve got lots of Smile Tools in my tool kit!

I doodle!
I host Create and Share Parties (more on this to come!)!
I chat with friends and loved ones!
I give gratitude for the goodness in my life!
I spend mindful moments just breathing and taking in the nature around me!
I yoga, yoga, yoga, yoga, yoga, and more yoga!
I slurp (yep, I actually slurp as necessary!) on fruit smoothies!
I watch the creatures being all creature-y in Bog-landia behind my Starry Cottage lil home!
I hug my honeybun!
I watch funny/happy/uplifting movies/videos!
I tell jokes!
I write funny stuff!
I read funny stuff!
Uh, I’ll just up and start smiling … just to be smiling!
I silly dance around in my Starry Cottage!
… just to name a few …

I encourage you to make tool kit of smile-inducers! And you can start right now by listing off 3 things you can do to smile! (Like go back up and see me smiling at you! Or check out my awesomely fun “doodle Gogh!”)

Be the smile in your day! Be the smile in someone else’s day, too!

Well, Beautiful Blossoms! I have loved spending this happy, loving time with you and creating these very special “doodle Gogh” arts for you! I hope I have brought fun, silliness, smiles, and love and big hugs into your day today!

You are so very precious!

Thank you for sharing this time with me!

Super Muah!

Living an Inspired Life
Time to Reflect and Imagine!

Living an Inspired Life! Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Time to Reflect and Imagine!!!

For those of you who missed the first post in this blog mini-series: Living an Inspired Life, click here to see the post and get more details!

I love this part! … Okay, I love all the parts, cuz they’re the steps to growth and being me … but so, this part is cool, too, because we get to really pull all the bits and pieces together to see what our life puzzle is starting to look like.

For some of you, tho, you might be thinking, … oh, gah! Reflection?!!! Like, is this meditation or something??? Lol. It’s something, but it’s not meditation.

But it could be. Feel free to find a happy spot to meditate on your Inspired Life, if you feel called. That’s awesome, too!

When I’m coaching a blossom, I help big time with this part. I take a look at all my blossom’s categorized doodle-thinkings, and I look for connections. I apply my many years of depth and breadth experience and see things maybe they can’t see, and often don’t. And we talk our way through to some exciting imagining!

But since, you and me, here in this moment, we are connected via the interwebs and my blog of love and big hugs to you … I’m going to do my best to guide you through this next step with some thoughtful insight from me, so you can do it for yourself! We’ll see how we do!

Okay, so … spread your pages out in front of you … I like to see them in the following type order: likes, dislikes, strengths, challenges, motivations, knocks me flat, & values. For me, this is a progressive insight into how my blossom sees herself. So try this, and if you like a different order, go for it!

Example of Doodle-Thinking

Next, it’s analysis and reflection time. It’s putting the pieces together. And doing it in a manner that uses your imagination to what you think your Inspired Life looks like.

Like, for the blossom who says, in my Inspired Life I see myself healthy, happy, and working at XYZ Inc. Or whatever she thinks she sees.

Like a blossom who wants to be healthy, but is stuck in the dieting trap, getting nowhere.

So, look at your doodle-thinking pages and compare away. Look for the solid and supported “truths” of you. Look for what seems wonky, and ask why?

Ask yourself what works for this idea of what you see in your Inspired Life. Ask yourself what is holding you back. Ask yourself with all that you are seeing about yourself … in line with your values … what does your Inspired Life look like in more detail?

You want to flesh out your vision. See it in color. See yourself today, and ask yourself …

Am I looking to make big changes?
Little changes?
Middle-sized changes?

What are you focusing on?

Health?
Wellness?
Happiness?
Career?
Relationships?
Family?
The whole kit and caboodle?

10 Life Must Haves + Must Do’s

OK … so there’s a next helpful step. It will help clarify or reinforce what you are thinking. Time to grab another sheet of paper and your colorful pens/pencils/markers …

Life List time!!!

And now look at your life again … here’s that reflection time, big time:

What are you looking to keep?
What are you looking to change?
What in your life (friends, work, family) is working for you?
What in your life is bringing you down?
What things can you change?
What things must you adapt to/can’t change (like a pandemic)?
What is serving you?
What is holding you back?
How does your 10 Life List things match up with what you want to keep and what you want to change?

What can you do to make the change? What actions do you need to take? (like eat nutrient dense food, get up and move around every hour, move to a new place) … I mean, these actions can be big and small and in between …

I love to dream/vision board what I’m seeing and feeling. If you like that idea, give it a try. Outta your head on paper in front of you … it’s the big trick and key. In your head is a jumble … on paper, you can’t hide. It’s right in front of you!

And next time, we’ll wrap up with growing you from here to there. Laying a path for you to travel. Determining the steps you need to take and empowering you to take them!

This is the good stuff, sweet beautiful blossom and bright star!!!

SEE YOU, THE REAL YOU AND YOUR INSPIRED LIFE!

Create Positive, Functional Relationships to Cope and Heal!

Positive, functional relationships, anti-inflammation, health. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Hello Sweet Beautiful Blossoms!

Today is sort of an impromptu post. I have lots and lots of planned posts and things to say, which I will definitely keep on writing, but for this quickie moment in time, I’m reading this incredibly helpful book called, The Body Keeps The Score. In the short of it, it’s about trauma and recovery, but in the long of it, it shares juicy, Amaze-balls insight into mental and emotional health, biology (structure & function), healing, and the healthcare system approach to treating mental and emotional challenges. … It ain’t light reading, but it’s worthy reading! So … I’m reading today … and something I read resonated SO BIG and SO DEEP I just had to share with you!!!

More to the point, it says these positive, functional relationships are critical for healing and coping.

I’m gonna paraphrase from the book here (I’m in CH 5 for those of you who are so inclined to dig into the book yourselves.):

And there’s a hair-bit more of super importance:

There are 2 main reasons why I decided to jot down my thoughts on this for you:

Throughout Covid, I’ve been forced to navigate my anxieties and fears and my increasingly complex health challenges, and as a way to navigate and cope, I:

joined a women’s circle
started doing YogaWithAdriene
invested in my mental, emotional, and physical health (a relationship I have with myself … that in all honesty covers everything I’m doing here … I have committed to myself and my wellness.)
started working with wellness and success coaches that are positive peeps for me to work with
distanced myself from toxic information
returned to therapy after 20 years
am growing my knowledge of women’s health and the effects of inflammation
adopted anti-inflammation eating and living habits

I’m taking positive actions for myself and surrounding myself with positive, functional relationships, and IT’S WORKING!!!!

As part of the above, I said I’m growing my knowledge about women’s health and the effects of inflammation … and what I’m reading in this book supports a very important aspect of being able to reduce inflammation (which, honestly, if you’re a blossom – an estrogen-producing, vagina-bearing individual [EPVBI … or some new acronym yet to be determined] … YOU MUST KNOW … you very likely have elevated inflammation … and this means, you are prone to developing a host of unfriendly health challenges … like the Big C, heart disease, stroke, etc … but more details of this are for another post … lots of them.) …

Therefore, surrounding yourself with positive, functional relationships will not only make you FEEL better in the happiness department, it will help you BE HEALTHIER in every way.

Make friends. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Who will see and hear you for who you are. Who will connect with you.

If your current tribe is not serving you … aka supporting you … seek and build a new tribe.

That’s what I am doing, and it’s working!

It won’t happen overnight. It will take time. But you are worth it!

And that is my impromptu message of love and big hugs for you today!

Oh … I just want to add, I know this can be easier said than done … I am human after all … the challenges of first of all valuing yourself enough to commit to yourself can be a doozy, and then once you value yourself, quitting or navigating toxic relationships is hard. I know.

So what I’m saying here is LOVE YOU to Be Well. Baby steps with the big goal in mind! Start small. Remember: “Progress, Not Perfection” (Jill Stante).

Try starting with either growing a new positive, functional relationship, or by reducing time in a toxic one. And then keep loving you and moving forward!!!

And say this next Positude out loud to yourself to remind yourself … daily … frequently … as much as you need until it’s grown deep inside you with knowing:

Hope this helps! Thank you, always, for being here with me and sharing this growing time together!!!!

Big Love and Big Hugs!

What Exactly are POSitudes?

POSitudes. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

What Exactly Are POSitudes?

Okay. So, the other day I was having a conversation with a fellow biz chick, and she asked me, “What exactly are P. O. S. itudes?”

Instantly stunned … I thought: P. O. S. itudes? … as in Piece Of Shiz itdues?

OH.MY.GOD.

I’m still cracking up. But also freaking out.

So, well then … lemme clear this up!

POSitudes are they way every blossom who wants to live a happy, healthy life should be thinking, acting, and channeling!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. POSitudes

POSitudes = POSitive + attitudes!

I’ve been spelling POSitudes with a capital POS, because once upon a time I spent considerable time being a health scientist, and in chemistry, for short, we use POS for positive and NEG for negative. So POSitude was just an obvious go to for me. However … to get swapped into “piece of shiz” by non-chemistry folk … uh … ???

Looks like we’re due for an capital letter emphasis change. So from here on out … it will just be Positude … a happy combination of positive and attitude!

Every blossom already has some Positudes built into her life, just from living, learning, and listening … but I take it a step further.

I reflect on my life, the ideas, thoughts, words, images … anything that helps me cope, heal, feel better, smile, laugh, … All The Good Things … and then I tap into my doodlebug juiciness and art things up with AWESOMELY positive, loving images + words + reminders to help, not just me, but any blossom who sees them.

My goal is to brighten my day and yours, and to guide our ways … for when we get a bit too busy to remember the little things that make a big difference!

Like remembering to take a healing breath. Like remembering to spend time doing something you love. Remembering to do the little self-care things that make a big ginormous difference.

Guiding questions to keep me on the right path
Loving thoughts to hold me tight
Positive reaffirmations to bolster me up
Purposeful actions to take me forward
Gentle, supportive reminders to keep me focused on the really good stuff in life
Big Hugs to love me so big and make me smile

Here’s some examples of my doodlebugging, juicy, loving Posituding happiness for you! I’ve put together a short compilation of a few of my Positudes (I actually have hundreds!). So, please …

Come breathe with me in this minute video book of Positudes! Give yourself a minute to just breathe and be, and enjoy this moment in Positude.

Welcome back from your minute of loving self-care and breathing!

As I was saying, Positudes are meant to help you! To love you and pick you up. Life can be crazy, hectic, overwhelming, busy, splattered with negativity, etc … and Positudes are reminders, thoughts, and ways of being and living to help you cope and counteract all of that … they help you guide your actions toward more positive and healthier living. They help you feel better and make you smile. When practiced regularly, they grow goodness and wellness into your being and living, and just all around make your life a happier place to be!

I use my Positudes daily. I have them on my phone in ebook form. I have them in video form for reflection in my yoga room. I have them on my computer. I have them sprinkled throughout my space to keep me smiling and living goodness!

One of my favorite times to reflect and meditate on my Positudes is when I’m wrapping up my daily yoga practice with my paced-breathing-legs-up-the-wall time. I breathe and watch my reflection video and reflect, meditate, and envision … it’s absolutely delightful and makes me feel so good!

If you are interested in more of my Positudes (thank you for loving them!), I am finding ways to offer them to you. You can experience them in a number of ways:

My monthly Love Letter
My blog posts (There’s a subscribe opportunity at the bottom of every blog post.)
My YouTube channel
My shop (currently ebooks, and eventually reflections videos and individual digi-prints)

The best way to let them help you is however they call to you, but what I find helpful is to read the words … and really let them sink in … enjoy the accompanying art … but feel the meaning of the Positude. Then I think about how this Positude can guide me in this moment, and even this day. I become mindful of how the Positude makes me feel.

Well, Beautiful Blossom! Thank you for being here with me! I hope this shared time has brightened your day! I hope you feel my love and big hugs! I hope you enjoy this moment we are in, and the rest of your day! I hope I’ve helped you smile big!

Muah!

Empowering You with a Simple Truth!

Empowering You with a Simple Truth!

Until about a year ago, I’d never uttered these words before. I could’ve never imagined how powerful they could be. Then they became life changers … words of empowerment, growth, and positive, healthy, happy change!

Instead of feeling like it wouldn’t be worth it to only walk for 10 minutes, I started telling myself walking for 10 minutes was better than not walking at all.

Instead of feeling like it wouldn’t be enough to take a coupla minutes to stop and just be and breathe, I started giving myself a coupla minutes to stop and just be and breathe … and my body thanks me every time for the calm and peace I invite into my being.

Instead of telling ourselves it’s only worth it if we do “it” BIG or spend “real time” doing it … we should be telling ourselves the truth:

Walking/dancing
Yoga
Paced breathing
Eating more nutrient-dense nutritious foods
Cutting out sugar (major inflamer and health challenger)
Cutting out gluten (major inflamer and health challenger)
Giving myself de-stressing time through creativity/doodle-arting
Focusing on POSitude and affirmations
“Gratituding”
Spending time being mindful
Taking better care of my oral healthcare
Taking better care of my body
Getting more movement into my body (improving my strength and wellness)
Giving myself more self-love, self-respect, and self-care … prioritizing me and my wellness
Spending happy time with people I love and who love me
Smiling, laughing, playing
Sitting in the sun
Listening to sights and sounds of our bog (the amazing nature around us)
Growing my wellness knowledge to be able to take better care of myself and my loved ones
This list goes on and on …

I didn’t make all of these changes overnight. But by allowing myself to grow in little bits … giving myself permission to accept progress over perfection … taking it one lil step at a time … I have made a world of positive, healthy, happy difference in my life!

I feel brighter, PINKer, filled with so much love and gratitude! I see the goodness in me and what I can do.

It took time. Lil bits. Wanting change and allowing change, then growing it with gentle ease.

Not forcing myself into any one thing. Not overwhelming myself with too much, too fast … not creating inevitable failure.

By waking up each day and listening to my body, heart, mind, and soul … hearing what I need … and giving myself what I need … I’ve grown miraculously!

Take today for instance. I don’t feel well. It’s one of my hormonally challenging days. My arms, legs, & knees are weak. My body is fatigued. I feel heavy. I feel challenged. Even sitting up in my chair at my desk is more effort than usual.

Today, I need a little extra self-love and self-care. Today, I need to slow down and take it easy. I need to nourish with nutrient-dense foods. I need to get gentle movement into my body to “keep the juices flowing and uncrumple it” from feeling like gravity is winning. I need to nourish myself. Nurture my wellness. I need to give my body what it needs. Surround myself with love and positivity.

So instead of beating myself up for moving slowly and not being able to tackle my list, I’m here visiting with you, sharing goodness from my heart, and creating a blog post I’ve been meaning to write for you.

Instead of expecting myself to dig into an hour of yoga (which I love to do), I’ll get on the mat to nurture my body … I’ll listen to what it’s telling me it can do today … and that’s what I’ll do. I’ll go gentle. I’ll heal and be well. And I’ll be happy with how much ever that is, and whatever it looks like. I’ll be happy knowing I cared for my body and for myself with helpful, healing movement.

I’ll hydrate. I’ll sit by the window and enjoy the sights and sounds of the bog, even though the sun is hiding behind a thick blanket of clouds a sprinkling rain today – the birds are still chirping, the bunnies are still munching, and the plant life gets greener with every drop of hydrating rain that falls.

I’ll connect with my honeybun and get some big hugs. I’ll share some time Zooming with my Soul Circle of Beautiful Bright Women.

Today is not a day I move mountains uphill. But that is ok. Today, like every day, I know that every lil bit I do for myself is better than not doing anything at all. I’ll do what I can, how I can, when I can … and that is a beautiful thing!

I will be enriched by even the smallest of my efforts! I will feel better!

Even now, thinking of you, I am smiling! I am feeling brighter! Even with just happy thoughts of you and a smile …

Empower yourself with the simple, healing, loving, self-caring, happiness-creating, growing-you truth:

Imbue this truth with helpful, supportive wisdoms and guidance:

“Progress, not perfection.” Jill Stante
Focus on what you can do right now to help yourself, mind, body, soul, light, love, energy, and being to cope and heal!

Well, sweet, beautiful blossom, I hope this juiciness is just what you and your heart needed to hear to day! I hope you feel my love and big hugs surrounding you with so much goodness, you feel yourself brightening being here with me. And I thank you so much for sharing this time with me. I give gratitude for this opportunity to help you find and grow – to be happy and well!

My Body Is an Alien:
Why Fighting Stress Is So Important!

Stress. Inflammation. Chronic Inflammation. Autoimmune disease. Autoimmune disorder. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

My Body Is an Alien: Why fighting stress is so important!

When we’re stressed … it doesn’t matter what kind of stress … mental (ie pressures at work), emotional (ie feeling depressed), or physical (ie illness, injury) …

When we’re stressed our bodies respond by creating cortisol the primary “stress hormone.”

In our body’s “hormone making hierarchy” it will preferentially make cortisol BEFORE it will make other hormones we need … like estrogen and progesterone.

So when we are stressed, our bodies make cortisol instead of the hormones we need, which results in hormone imbalance … and hormone imbalance often results in SYMPTOMS (for a big ol’ list of possibilities, click here), many of which are unfun and uncomfortable, some of which can go unnoticed (which actually isn’t a good thing … cuz we have SYMPTOMS as our warning signs … it’s our bodies talking to us, trying to tell us things aren’t good … it’s our bodies trying to tell us we need to fix “it.”

With “it” … going back to the stress and the preferential cortisol production … but that often gets missed. We often miss the stress as the underlying cause, cuz we like live with stress all the time and “do just fine.” It must be something else. … Well, it could be.

But honestly … if we’re living under stress all the time, we are not doing “just fine.” Our bodies are yelling at us, but on we go.

Okay. So that’s the first layer. Yep … we’re gonna onion right now.

So the first layer is stress of any kind promoting cortisol production instead of our needed estrogen and progesterone. And this causes hormone imbalance, which causes unfun SYMPTOMS.

Our second layer is when we experience prolonged stress (work, relationship, self-image, improper body weight, lack of movement in our bodies, toxicity in our foods, etc, etc, etc, … life), this prolonged stress results in prolonged production of cortisol … and this ain’t good.

Prolonged production of cortisol results in chronic inflammation. And chronic inflammation leads to really uncool health challenges (aka, disease: cardiovascular disease, diabetes, the Big C, … to name a few).

Right now, in the US, 60% of Americans suffer at least one chronic inflammation disease. And 40% of those Americans suffer two or more.

25% of US women will die of cardiovascular disease.

And studies are now showing that 44% of millennials are already suffering at least one chronic disease.

There’s a rant built into the above statement for me … but I’ll leave it at the following:

Back to our onion.

Layer three is … what happens when all that stress builds up … all that chronic inflammation goes unchecked … unhealed …

Well, for about 8 – 10% of Americans, it results in something called autoimmune disease. An autoimmune disease is when the body can’t tell itself (or bits of itself) from an invader and it starts attacking itself.

Some examples of autoimmune disease you may have heard of:

Celiac disease
Hashimoto thyroiditis
Multiple sclerosis
Rheumatoid arthritis
Psoriasis/psoriatic arthritis
Inflammatory bowel disease

Okay … so here it is … the real ass kicker … 80% of the people who suffer from autoimmune disease are … you guessed it … WOMEN!!!

80%!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That, my sweet blossoms, is 100% an indicator letting us know that our hormones are playing a role. It’s our estrogen and progesterone the differentiate us from men.

Also … sucky note: once a person gets autoimmune disease, generally speaking, there is NO CURE. Only doing your best to get and keep your body calmed and coping. “Controlling the condition and symptoms” with a prioritized need to reduce inflammation and pain.

Essentially, these 2 effects of persistent stress and elevated cortisol levels … living life … don’t just reside individually in women – sweet blossoms, they generally compound one another.

Buuuuuuuuuuuut, so … you can stop autoimmune disease from happening, and you can help reverse chronic diseases … by guess what?

Dr. Amy Myers talks about autoimmune disease in great detail, with so much wellness to offer, in her book, The Autoimmune Solution. In this book she talks about the “autoimmune spectrum.”

The autoimmune spectrum is essentially a path from no imflammation > some > mild > moderate > severe > and finally, achieved autoimmunity disorder. Simply being a women, a beautiful blossom, even if you lived the cleanest, healthiest, best-est, non-toxic, zero-stress life, just being a blossom, puts you on this spectrum.

Add in all the stuff of your particular life … and well …

The bottom line … the one that leads to wellness … reduce our stress!

Sleep well
Eat organic, nutrient dense, whole foods – an anti-inflammatory diet – in all the colors of the rainbow
Drink plenty of water
Significantly reduce sugar in your diet, or eliminate it completely
Get movement into your body
Heal your gut (This one is super big and is interlaced over practically all of the other things listed here.)
Laugh and play
Spend time with people who you love and who love you
Breathe
Meditate
Color and create
Practice mindfulness
Let go and let be
Therapy
Sit in the sun

Find your groove. What works for you. The goal is to get stress down … A LOT! As if your life depends on it. Cuz, like your health does, and if your life relies on your health, then the math is simple. Stress Reduction is Vital!!!

As an additional personal note and thought … I know stress can be hard to fight. I know the lists are long, the to-do’s never ending. There are days (I’ve managed to get it down to occasional lil bursts of time … a few hours, a day here or there), … there are times when my body just buzzes with the stress of everything. I feel it in my chest. My limbs. My heart. My bones.

My groove … what works for me … I tell myself the truth. I’m stressed. This stress is hurting me. I need to love myself and take care of me, my mind, my body. … I need to calm down. Find my peace again. …

I tell myself the truth … I need this moment in time to heal and cope and get well again. Everything else can wait. Everything else has to wait.

I have people depending on me … probably you have people depending on you, too … it can be easy to say, I’ll just push through until later … I HAVE to help these people who depend on me right now … except that the pushing through until later … later never seems to come.

Honestly, sweet blossom, you can’t help others after you fall. The peeps can wait. For 1 minute. 5 minutes. … Take a day off here and there just for your rest and rejuvenation. Whatever your groove is. But find and grow your groove. So you can get your stress down.

I also acknowledge that in order to get to a place in my life I had to reevaluate my values and change how I lived. I had to reduce the stressy things on purpose. Find and grow peace into my life with active choice. Loving me. Prioritizing me.

This was and is my groove. You’ll find yours. Only you can know. But I hope in sharing mine, it might just be helpful love and encouragement, even some guiding ideas, to help you find yours.

Nourish to Flourish. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Thank you for being here with me and sharing time! I hope you are well!

I invite you take this quick moment to smile big, hug yourself, and take a nice, big, juicy breath in … let go … and let your breath out slowly.

Big Love and Big Hugs!

How Joining a Women’s Circle Has Changed My Life!

women's circle. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

My reflection art from one of our recent circles!

How Joining a Women’s Circle Has Changed My Life!

Why I even joined …

I needed positivity. Reaffirmation. Self-care. Connection. Happiness. And I got it!

What we did …

She, along with a one of her inspirations and guiding lights, Deb Namara, were offering a 4 week Zoom-mediated Soul Circle. We’d meet once a week for 4 weeks, and during the 90 minutes of wellness and positivity, Leonie and Deb talked about coping and healing – finding a way to do more than just survive the pandemic, but to come out the other side, better, more improved. With self-care and positivity and light and love!

In a time, when everyone was talking about “can’t wait for things to go back to the way they were,” Leonie and Deb introduced the notion that perhaps things weren’t so great before. Maybe instead of trying so hard to get back, maybe we could use this time to create and grow a better place, a better future. … And I bit onto that bit of inspiration with all my might … I definitely wanted to create a better, brighter, more hope-filled future!

Each week, we’d come together to listen to the beautiful, uplifting, positive, reaffirming, encouraging words of Leonie and Deb. Then Deb would guide us through an amazing meditation – another thing that until this experience, I’d never done – and then we’d be given the opportunity to creatively reflect on our medication through art or journaling (On my goodness, I can’t even tell you how much I loved this, but ever since, I’ve been using art and journaling to grow my wellness!). Before closing, we would be given thought provoking questions to help guide us toward our brighter lights.

Every moment was bright. Light. Positive. Caring. Empowering. I felt refreshed and renewed! I felt hope!

So, when the month came to an end, and Deb offered the opportunity to continue our Soul Circle meetings, I was in! Hooked. Enthusiastic. Jubilant! Waiting with giddiness and wanting for more goodness in my life! Happy to be a part of something so gorgeous and healthy feeling!

Where we’re at … (the true beauty, beyond anything I could have imagined!)

So it’s been a year! For those of us who have continued our time with Deb, we’ve taken life changing to a whole new level!

There’s about 20 of us now. We’re smaller. We still use Zoom. We come from the US, Canada, UK, and Australia, … I think we might even have a New Zealander in there. And every month, we are so excited to see each other and be in each other’s light!

Every month is different. We always have Share and Support time. Sometimes we have a guided meditation. Sometimes we art/journal. We have our opening and closing prayer.

Every month we listen with open hearts and live and grow in each others’ goodness and individual gifts and uniqueness!

It’s amazing!

It’s a no judgement, share zone. We feel love and acceptance. We hear and grow. We connect. We come together to feel each other’s brightness and to share and support each other!

It’s amazing! I know I just said that … but seriously. We are the embodiment of those little memes that tell us to be the woman who supports other women.

We ARE beautiful, bright souls supporting other beautiful, bright souls! Sharing times with these incredible women is growing me, helping me, loving me, and for the first time in my life, truly accepting me for who I am with love and respect. And it feels AMAZING!

So amazing in fact, that I feel compelled to write to you about it. To encourage to join or start your own women’s circle. To invite goodness into your life! To brighten your days with love and support! To feel the positive, reaffirming wellness of organic, juicy, healthy relationships!!!

And for this reason, I am including this post as a link back to “My Body Is an Alien” (a women’s hormone health blog series) … because on the list of things you can do to grow wellness into your life and your body is to join a women’s circle!

It’s what you make of it!

Think of the possibilities! You can talk about your painful periods. The challenges you are facing in your life and relationships. Loss. Work challenges. Trying to combat toxic, negative thoughts. Being peri-menopausal/menopausal and the challenges and health difficulties you are coping with. The truly delightful nature walk you went on, and how you feel inspired. The stars. Crystals. Art. You can talk about whatever you and your beautiful group of women are called to talk about!

No judgment. Only kind support. Shared ideas. Shared lessons learned. Shared light and love. Acceptance. Connection. Gentleness. No longer feeling alone … like you are the only one in the world with this crazy shiz happening to you.

Hell, in our most recent Soul Circle, one of our gorgeous blossoms talked about how she gets so angry at the TV – all the shiz coming out of it – that she finds herself yelling at her TV. Another beautiful soul is suffering the loss of a dear family member and trying to find ways to cope and move forward. Another bright light talked about how her hormonal body is such a debilitating challenge it makes her feel abnormal, like a freak of nature, and it impacts her self-confidence. I suspect we all feel these ways, at least sometimes. It’s amazing be there for each other, and knowing we are not alone!

Each of share what we are called to share. Each of compassionately listen and support. Each of feel the love of our circle of bright lights shining!

And you, too, can have this. You can join or start your own group. Give it time. Nourish and nurture each other. Your relationships will grow in goodness! You will feel better. More light and wellness in your life!

I am compelled with a full and bright heart to share this goodness with you!

Also … I want to say … as part of my contribution to our group … I started giving a big, virtual hug (you know me and my hugging!), and now … before we end our monthly meetings, there are always big, loving hugs!

I wish this goodness for you! And I hope you can grow, nourish, and nurture this positivity, reaffirming happiness, self-caring wellness into your life in a way that is absolutely positive and life changing for you!

Loving and Big Hugging you SO BIG!!!