My Body Is an Alien:
Symptoms of Perimenopause, Menopause, & Hormone Imbalance

perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs.

Symptoms of Perimenopause, Menopause, & Hormone Imbalance

Hello Beautiful Blossom!

Welcome to our My Body Is an Alien blog series.  Today, let’s talk about how we feel (mind, body, and soul) with our hormones doing what they do: “normally” as with depleting levels over time for perimenopause and menopause, and not so normally with hormonal imbalances.  As in, let’s talk “symptoms.”

From the time we are prepubescent to post-menopausal, just about every part of our bodies (if not our whole bodies) are impacted by our hormones, whether they are functioning normally or not.  (Read this AWESOMELY enlightening post: Life Under the Influence of Estrogen & Progesterone.)

For instance, our skin is impacted; ask any teen blossom with acne.  Our bones are impacted; ask any post-menopausal blossom who is experiencing bone loss and osteoporosis (That’s a possible outcome from losing our estrogen protection.).

As you read from the lists of reported and acknowledged symptoms further on in this post (mostly associated with perimenopause and menopause – but some also from our more fertile period years, too), you will grow your understanding of just how widely we are impacted … truly, mind, body, and soul.

Symptoms of perimenopause, menopause, & hormone imbalance can be your body’s way of letting you know it’s not getting what it needs to perform optimally.

Before we dive into the many different symptoms, there’s a few things I feel I should say about how all these symptoms make us feel … and to give hope right up front.

I, myself, have been through my own personal hell with my ever fluctuating hormones and the resulting symptoms.  I’ve talked with friends, loved ones, colleagues, and I’ve read and read and read about other women with their stories and their challenges.  And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that although we can have some similar experiences, each of us will travel our own road and experience our own journey.  What we feel and go through varies so widely, it seems bizarre.  But is it bizarre?  I don’t think so.  I think it actually makes perfect sense.

Each of us beautiful blossoms have lived unique lives in our unique bodies.  No two of us have the same exact biochemistry, physiology, and genetics.  Nor have any of us lived under the same exact conditions: food supply, water supply, air supply.  None of us exercise or get movement into our bodies exactly the same.  None of us sleep exactly the same.  None of us use all the same personal care products.  None of us live in the same exact environments.  Our jobs aren’t the same.  Our stress levels aren’t the same.  Etc.

As such, none of us will experience the same exact things.  All of these factors make a difference and change and influence our experience.

And the hopeful, good news up front: Since all of these things influence and change our individual and unique experiences, we have control over many of these factors and can make changes to our living to help us feel better.  We can help ourselves in many ways to feel better … and that beautiful blossom is POWERFUL and EMPOWERING!

We’ll talk more about what we can do, but first, let’s see this list of symptoms!  I’m going to break it into 2 parts: symptoms I’ve personally experienced, and symptoms I haven’t had, but are reported and acknowledged as hormonally influenced.

2 important points I need to make about symptoms:

  • Each one is variable.  It can range in intensity from mild to severe, and even disabling.  Each blossom will be different, but with similarities.
  • All symptoms pretty much suck.
perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs. Hot Flashes, The Hots, Temperature Irregulation

Mary Kate’s Personal Symptoms

The following is a list of my personal symptoms over the years, mostly focused on perimenopause (cuz that’s the state I’ve been in for nearly a decade now.)

Prior to “official” perimenopause, during my years of periods and “relative” fertility, I came to nickname my periods as “monsters,” because of how immobilizing and debilitating my periods used to be … cramps that would drop me to the floor, weakness, migraines … I knew the first day of my monster was a wash (that I would be pretty much stuck in bed on a sick day … yep, I used almost all of my sick days for my period when I worked for other peeps.).

  • Hot “flashes” (For me “flashes” is hilarious … my heat could last minutes to hours.  Stripping my shirt off, standing in front of an open winter window, drinking ice cold water, and putting ice packs on my chest and back helped.)
  • Night sweats (sheet soaking)
  • Achy knees, like when I’m sick with the flu … I hate this feeling!
  • Irregular periods, [“fertile years” 23 – 37 days; perimenopause mostly 27-30 day cycles, but finally and excitedly starting to see more irregularity 12-34 days (sign of the “end” in sight … bring on my last egg!!! … let’s do this menopause thing!!!)]
  • Food tastes affected (especially dairy … My husband laughs, cuz I’ll tell him the milk tastes like “farm ass.”  And he says, “No it doesn’t.  It tastes like regular milk.” … uh, no … it tastes like farm ass.  lol.)
  • Increasing allergies/sensitivities (mint – toothpaste, floss, fluoride rinse; honey; lip balms)  sensitive to strength of drugs; taking children doses oftentimes, when painkiller or Benadryl needed; and worthy of its own note as you’ll see as you read … these allergies & sensitivities eventually developed into lung challenges requiring the use of an inhaler.)
  • Increased anxiety (good goddess … worthy of its own post … for now, know this, over time my little bit of anxiety grew and grew and grew, and then the pandemic hit, and well, THERAPY!!!)
  • Insomnia and sleep disturbances (and the worst is when I’m exhausted, but still … can’t … sleep!!!  Also when I wake up after 3-4 hours with no going back to sleep), or sometimes I wake up a lot during my sleep.
  • Extreme fatigue (developed into chronic fatigue; worthy of its own post.  I called my fatigue the Tireds.  I would sleep for long periods, 12-17 hours.  Started off as a few days a month, ended up being almost every day of the month … for 7 long, disabled years!!!  CF is hard to explain until you feel it.  Like trying to explain to someone what chocolate tastes and feels like.  But I can say this … it’s depletion like nothing you’ve ever felt.  Everything is a monumental task.  Even breathing.  You don’t have the energy to move, lethargy on steroids!  You’re too weak.  You feel exhausted, but can’t sleep.  Life is lost stuck in bed.  It is the major suck!!!!
  • Known to have low blood pressure, always previously asymptomatic, but now I get woozy at times and lose my balance.  Sometimes I fall.
  • Intensely chapped, cracked lips that won’t heal or respond to any amount of lubricant (have tried Vaseline, every kind of organic lip balm – until I get allergic to it – and now Shea Butter).  And it’s not just that my lips are cracked, it’s that the elasticity of my mouth/lip shape is affected.  I can barely open my mouth, and it takes ripping my lips to do it.  This, like all my symptoms comes and goes, and when it comes it’s not always the same intensity, but when it’s at its worst, it’s seriously NOT fun.  In recent years, I pretty much ALWAYS have cracked lips.  It’s painful.
  • Migraines … heating pad to the forehead while I whimper and beg for mercy.  Also “regular” headaches.
  • Thinning hair  (I had trouble for a while.  In the shower an alarming amount of hair would just appear in my hands as I washed my hair.  I used bio-identical progesterone cream for a while, and it seemed to have helped.  No more hair scares.)
  • “Weepy” feeling.  What started out as occasional “weepy” sensations, teary eyes has developed into all out sobbing fests at time … for no apparent reason.  One minute I’m fine, and then … sobbing like I’m suffering the worst depression of my life.  Every once in while, I actually feel sad with it … but mostly, it’s just freaking sobbing and releasing … like my body just needs to get “it” out … what is “it”? … I dunno … but I hate how it feels … and currently, I tend to have a spell of this just about every damn night.  Ugh.  (BTW: not usually a big crier.  Never needed to cry to release before.  Not really a sad person.  But when I get really sad, sure, I cry.  But now … I’m a big crier.  Blaaargh!)
  • Loss of libido … way harder to gain interest … been going on for years.  Uh, this sucks.  I want to be all sexy kitten for my honeybun, and my body is like … nope.  Nothing.  And it really is my body.  My honeybun is still sexy as hell to me.  I look at him and get googly in my heart and mind, but my body is like … maybe next time.  Blaaaargh!
  • The “girls” are shrinking … I’m losing breast tissue.
  • Sometimes hard to concentrate.  I’m a big thinker.  Big on education.  Big on learning and growing myself all the time.  So this one … bothersome.  But relative to chronic fatigue and cracked lips … uh, tolerable.
  • Memory … what memory?  I walk into a room and ask myself , Why am I in here?  My least favorite is being in the kitchen making a meal, and I’ll walk over to the pantry and be all like, “What am I doing?  What am I looking for?”  And I’ll have to reexamine my work area and try to figure out WTH I was coming over for.
  • I have to pee more and more and more.
  • Urinary Incontinence … leaking pee for a few minutes after peeing; peeing when I cough.  Blaaargh.
  • Bowel movements can be impaired at hormone changes (constipation) for period onset and ovulations.
  • Constipation back pain, relieved after pooing.
  • Swollen ankles (edema/fluid retention … if this happens to you, try Legs Up the Wall pose, it’s a miracle!)
  • Face breakouts, acne.
  • Receding gums.  OMG.  It’s so much harder to care for my teeth and gums now.  It’s like my gums are forgetting they are supposed to support my teeth.  Results in tooth sensitivity.
  • Teeth sensitivities due to sinus issues.
  • Breast tenderness (btw: word to the wise, if yo’ breasts be tender, you likely are having an estrogen dominant moment … not a good thing … consider detoxing your liver (like with milk thistle or apple cider vinegar) to help your body get rid of the excess.  For me, red meat (which has estrogen analogs – look alikes within your body) is a huge aggravator of my estrogen.  I eat red meat, I get sensitive breasts.
  • Occasional bouts of irritability.  I’m not an irritable person.
  • Oily bumpy hairline
  • Digestive challenges: painful, instant bloating that doubles me over with gastric spasms from hell; gassy, burpy, pooty.  Slowing digestion (for me, helped by taking digestive enzymes at the beginning of my meals)
  • Lack of appetite … I’ll ask my honeybun, “Hey, Honey, what do I want to eat?” and he’ll decide for me, cuz NOTHING sounds good.
  • Smells affected: weird and more intense.  Repulsive.  I now can’t stand to be around when people wear cologne.  Blehck.
  • Sometimes I smell funny … like super noticeable armpit odor … and that’s pretty unusual for me.
  • Hot hands … I don’t even know how to explain.  But think swollen and hot internally … I put my hands between ice packs … sucks.
  • The “hots” patches of skin that get really red, flushed, and hot … like hot flashing, but not flashing, and on the thighs, shoulders, chest, etc
  • Loss of hair on legs (The one constant … all women and blossoms will experience this.  But no one really complains … cuz … less shaving … hallelujah! )
  • Eczema and skin issues … for me … as a teen, just a bit around my nose, but as a perimenopausal person, holey shizzzzz … So bad, I had a near death experience in having faced a systemic infection from the severity of the cracking on my hands.  FREAKING hate this symptom.  It’s disabling.  I’ve had it for just over a year now.  I have to be EXTREMELY careful with my hands and skin.  Showering turns me into an inflamed nightmare.  I have to medicate.  I am debilitated.  Have to wear eczema gloves.  Limit hand washing to fingertips only as much as possible, like seriously.  Household chores have become CHORES.  (Like my chronic fatigue, I hope to find a solution to make this go away … it is the SUPER GINORMOUS suck!!!)
  • Skin tone changes … saggy skin under my butt cheeks on my upper, upper thighs, “crepe” paper look … this is a collagen thing … guess what … yep, waning estrogen impacts collagen production, and this makes us lose our vibrant, firm, elastic skin … feel free to say it with me, Blaaaargh! … also part of the reason we start peeing our pants … our urethras lose their tone.  Double Blaaaargh!
  • Depression … occasional and weird.  Notice all my cute art work … I live in my creative happy place with my honeybun in our lil tiny starry cottage on the bog.  I’m not a depressed person.  So when I get depressed … we freaking notice.
  • Dizziness … not seemingly related to my low blood pressure.
  • Developed lung issues (asthma/reactive airway disease … which sounds terrible but is a “pre-asthma”)
  • Increased night terrors and bad dreams
  • Increased difficulty sleeping through the night … sleeping so lightly as to be ridiculous.  I get up to pee like 4 freaking times a night.  If my honeybun snores, I wake up.  If he moves in bed, I wake up.  This is HIGHLY counterhelpful for the idea of getting a good 6-9 hours of restful sleep a night to promote wellness
  • Weird hair growth (upper backs of my thighs, just appeared outta nowhere and each patch has become denser over time)
  • In my early 30’s, my low and waning progesterone caused infertility issues.  I was never able to conceive.
  • Clumsiness (falling down, tripping, knocking things over, dropping things … you’d think I’ve forgotten how to use my limbs)
  • Varying vision … This one is weird and occasional.  Simply stated, sometimes my eyesight is less … I can’t see as well.  I check my goggles, but they’re clear.  I check my eyes for goop, but they’re clear.  Comes and goes.  Doesn’t last long.  Maybe coupla hours at a time.  As I said, weird.
  • Cervical tissue transient changes … For this one, I’m mentioning it just because it super freaked me out when I suddenly “failed” my Pap Smear.  For 3 years, every 6 months, I had to see a specialist “just to be sure everything was ok.”  All it ended up being was a patch/line of abnormal cells that the doc chalked up to being a hormonal transition moment.  The cells healed up or went away on their own.  But so again, I mention this, in hopes that if you suddenly have something like this happen to you, it will inspire calm in the face of the storm.

For me, hands down, my worst and most debilitating symptoms are and have been my chronic fatigue, eczema, cracked lips, and lung troubles.

I passionately dislike each of these horrible symptoms, and do everything I can to help my body cope and heal, (which I will talk a little bit more about later in this post.)

perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs. Migraines from Hell: whirly, dizzy, nauseous, please be quiet headaches

Other Possible Symptoms Reported and/or Experienced By Other Blossoms (essentially, symptoms are reported that I haven’t experienced).

As if after reading my personal list anything else could be challenged, but OH YES, It can.

  • Change in Menstrual Cycle
  • Menstrual Flooding
  • Exacerbation of any Chronic Illness or Existing Condition
  • Interference With Dream Recall
  • Muscle Cramps
  • Low Backache
  • Gall Bladder pain, spasms and discomfort
  • Hypoglycemic Reactions
  • Food Cravings
  • Increased Appetite
  • Dark Circles Under Eyes
  • Joint and Muscle Pain, Achy, Sore Joints, Muscles and Tendons
  • Increased Tension in Muscles
  • Increase in Facial Hair
  • Unusual Hair Growth, around Nipples, between Breasts, down your back, places where your hair was finer, less coarse.
  • Painful or tender nipples
  • Cold Extremities
  • Painful Sex
  • Vaginal Dryness and Irritation
  • Ringing in the Ears, Tinnitus
  • Abdominal Bloating
  • Weight Gain
  • Palpitations or Heart Racing
  • Irregularities in your Heart Rate
  • Tendency towards Candidiasis can increase
  • Puffy Eyes
  • Changes in Facial Pallor
  • Flare up of Arthritis
  • Loss of Bone Density, Osteoporosis,
  • Dry Hair, Change in Skin Tone, Integrity, and Texture
  • Changes in your Fingernails
  • Itchy, Crawly Skin
  • Muscle tone seems to slack and sag, and loose its previous response to normal exercise.
  • Pelvic Pain
  • Dry, Itchy Eyes
  • Change in the normal Tongue sensation
  • Feeling Faint
  • Tingling in Extremities
  • Sensation of Electrical Stimulation or Shock

For more on these (and also for some of my above symptoms), there is a helpful list online that I have resourced MANY times over the years to help me not freak out.  The author of the original post/comment has recently updated the post with short descriptions of each symptom, but what is REALLY extra helpful is READING all the blossom comments that follow.  Our experiences vary far and wide!!!

perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs. New or Increased Anxiety and Panic Attacks … sometimes feeling like your vibrating on a stressy wire

Important Lessons Learned, Wisdom Gained, and Loving Insight to Share!

Now that we’ve talked about and listed many numerous symptoms, I want to take a moment to share some gained wisdom and insight that I hope will be helpful to you.

Especially if you are perimenopausal (from my own experience and that of others’ I’ve read about and listened to) … there might be times when you are actually experiencing so many symptoms or just one or a few symptoms, but so badly, that you feel like you might be dying.  It can be a really scary time.  Our bodies are going through a biologically programmed decline of hormones … but the thing is, our bodies and our organs, they’re used to those hormones, and not having them takes some getting used to.  And we feel this transition.  We feel this attempt to adapt.  Some blossoms more than others.

With all of the symptoms and how badly they can make us feel, it can be easy to see our bodies as alien.  To feel like our bodies are the enemy.  But nothing could be further from the truth!

We are in an intimate, personal, co-dependent relationship with our bodies.  We need them; they need us!  It’s up to us to care and nurture and nourish ourselves.

So a couple of things:

  • Talk to your doctor.  Run tests.  Make sure you are okay.  Make sure the hormone depletion isn’t causing actual disease, but if so, get the treatment you need.
  • Beyond this, find love and support.  Talk to other blossoms.  Share your experiences.  Don’t ride this sometimes scary ride alone.  Sharing shows us we’re not freaks; we’re not alone; we’re not the only ones suffering.  It’s a helpful kind of reassurance knowing you aren’t the only one, and being able to talk about it, process it, and move on.
  • Self-care to the max.  Learn to prioritize you and your wellness.  Your body is kinda demanding it, and if you don’t help it, it will bring your ass down … hard.
  • You can care for yourself so you don’t succumb, so you can do MORE THAN survive, … you can self-care to thrive in your new and ever changing normal.
  • I encourage you to Nourish to Flourish with your self-care!

A big point here for sharing all of these symptoms of perimenopause, menopause, and hormone imbalance:

  • ISN’T to say you will experience any or all of these symptoms (Your body, life, & environment are all your own … your journey will be yours.).
  • is to help make you aware of many of the symptoms of perimenopause, menopause, and hormone imbalance.
  • is to let you know this list is NOT meant to be exhaustive (There’s a zillion billion blossoms on this earth … no way do we have reports on everything each blossom goes through.).
  • is shared with you with the hopes and intentions to help you not feel isolated, alone, or “freakish”like no one else in the world is going through this, so something must be wrong with you … Nope, NOT AT ALL … our hormones regulate so many things in our body … something wonky is bound to appear.

Let’s talk “Stress” as a contributing factor

When we talk about stress, most of think “mental” or “emotional.”  Both of those types of stress count for sure, but the one that is missed or unknown is “physical” stress.

Physical stress is any physical challenge your body is having to navigate.  An injury (ie pulled muscle) or illness (gingivitis, a cold, etc) causes stress to your system.  Your body is having to fight or heal.  Even endurance sports are a form of physical stress.

And the thing about stress is it causes the release of cortisol.  And there are 2 biggy reasons why this is important:

  • Cortisol is higher up in the “make hormones” chain, so your body will make cortisol instead of making your hormones, like progesterone and estrogen … which can lead to hormone imbalance … which can lead to a worsening of hormone related symptoms … and that’s so important for us here.
  • Chronic stress results in chronic cortisol.  Which results in less of your needed hormones being made (see point above), BUT ALSO leads to chronic inflammation.  Chronic inflammation is the basis for many of the big killer diseases: heart disease, diabetes, and the Big C.  And this takes us back to what is a physical stress.
inflammation happiness healthiness art therapy Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs

Essentially, stress, when unchecked, can lead to a very unhappy, unhealthy, vicious negative cycle that can become harder and harder to address and fix.

For all the reading I’ve done to help me find solutions to all my challenges, every single source has indicated a need to reduce stress in every way possible.

Stress is absolutely acknowledged as a contributing factor for inducing and aggravating symptoms of perimenopause, menopause, and hormone imbalance.

Many of us blossoms live in Stress-ville.  Families, relationships, kids, work, squeezing in time to do All the Things …

So being told to reduce our stress can sound down right comical.

But sweet blossom, take it from me, a master of the 120 hour work week.  The never give in.  Never say die.  Sleep is for other people, or later.  What I’m going through (although I am now seeing amazing improvement with lots of intensive, life-changing self-care), but what I’ve been going through and experience now … sucks.

So if I can save you, even a little bit, by urging you to self-care and reduce your stress in all its forms, then I will feel gratitude for being able to help you live a happier, healthier life!

perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs. New or Increased Depression: the saddest weepies freaking ever …

Resources MK Has Found Helpful

The following is a list of resources I have found helpful and guiding as I continue to navigate through my own wellness and health journey under the influence of my ever waning hormones.

Note: These are truly resources I use.  None of these people know I exist, and they don’t know I’m saying good things about them.  This is just me trying to share with you what goodness has helped me.

  • Dr. Axe  (If it’s on his website as nutritional guidance, I’m reading it and using it to help me!)
  • The Hormone Cure  (OMG, this book!!!  I especially love the determine-your-imbalance self-help self-assessment at the front of the book, followed by all of the how-to-correct/help your imbalances, followed by all the info-tables at the end!  Worth every penny.)
  • Yoga with Adriene  (She is my wellness angel on earth!  I’m keeping her forever.  She speaks my healing language, and I love practicing yoga with her!!!)
  • Healthline  (Online health info site that I find super helpful!)
  • Dr. Amy Myers  (Speaks the language of anti-inflammation and offers food/supplement products to assist in meeting these goals!)
  • Online post: 66 Peri menopause / Menopause Symptoms you may experience
perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs. Range of Symptoms: Your Body!

Some Wellness Steps You Can Take to Help Yourself Cope and Heal

It’s vitally important for you to nurture and nourish your well-being, so you can flourish!

  • Eat an organic, nutrient dense, anti-inflammatory diet (also helps to reduce toxins you eat)
  • Hydrate (also helps to flush out toxins)
  • Get movement into your body (check in with your body daily … see how you are feeling … work out your kinks, get your juices flowing a bit, and stimulate your lymph system … which helps to reduce toxins and inflammation)
  • Get restful, rejuvenating sleep (your body seeks to heal while you sleep)
  • Laugh and Smile (releases your happy hormones and makes you feel better instantly!)
  • Reduce your STRESS: spend time being creative (artsy, writing, knitting, etc), practice POSitude, reaffirmations, & gratitude
  • Connect with and hug your loved ones (makes you feel so happy and so good … releases happy hormones and reduces stress)
  • Surround yourself with people who love and support you and who will be there for you as you navigate these challenges (join a women’s circle or support group!)
  • Paced breathing (stress reducer!)
  • Get sunshine (stress reducer and helps you make vitamin D, which helps you be healthy!!!)
  • Play and have fun (makes happy hormones and reduces stress!)
  • Journaling (writing it out, seeing it in writing and getting it out of your head … expressing your fears, hopes, dreams, reaffirmations, gratitudes, …, all of it, it helps you feel better, helps you process the information and challenge more effectively, … it helps you!!!
  • Therapy! (Yes, please!  So very helpful!!!)

Bottom Line: Live an Anti-Inflammatory Life, which means living for mental, physical, and emotional wellness through nutrient dense foods, quality hydration, rest, breathing, movement, reducing your stress levels … all forms of goodness that nourishes, nurtures, and heals your body, mind, soul, and spirit.

I wrote a HUGELY helpful post on how to help you grow wellness into your life with, even for the busiest of us … read it here.

3 very important POSitudes I remind myself of daily:

Nourish to Flourish. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Well, sweet beautiful blossom, that feels like a pretty good “get to know you” for the symptoms of perimenopause, menopause, and hormone imbalance.  I very much hope you find this helpful and loved-filled!

I hope this information and insight helps you find peace, calm, and healing!

Feel free to reach out to me!

Thank you for being here with me!  I am filled with so much loving, big-hugging gratitude for being able to share this time and my experiences with you!

Love and Big Hugs Mary Kate ready to dive deeper 2 s

Ready to dive deeper?

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  • What is happening inside your body that is making  you feel poorly … or arguably worsewhat is creating disease silently in your body
  • Why these things are happening
  • What you can do to help your body cope & heal
  • And so much more!

Our growthshop helps you protect you by giving you:

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Self-Worth

self-worth. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Self-Worth!

Hello Beautiful Blossom!

Say it with me:

 

I AM WORTH MY EVERY EFFORT, BIG AND SMALL!

 

When you realize you are worth your every effort, you realize all of the things you do for yourself mean something to you … and you realize the things that mean something to you, … those are the things that are important in your life.  They are your life!

Big or Small:

  • sharing time with loved ones; connecting happily
  • eating healthy, nutrient-dense foods
  • hydrating
  • smiling each day, even if just to smile at yourself and give thanks for your day
  • hugging yourself
  • getting movement into your day (yoga, walking, dancing)
  • meditating, even if only for a couple of minutes, to be quiet, breathe, and be mindful
  • valuing your precious, restorative sleep, and ensuring to give yourself 7-9 hrs a night
  • sitting in the sun or under a sunlamp
  • laughing out loud
  • creating, drawing, doodling, writing … using your creative mind
  • reducing your stress
  • this list goes on and on

“Progress, not perfection.” 

Self-care is how we define our self-worth.  What we are willing to do for ourselves let’s us know how important we are to ourselves.

I hear so many beautiful blossoms say things like, “I’m so busy; I just can’t ever seem to find time to self-care.”

The demands of life can be so heavy we are driven away from our efforts.  But when this happens, we allow the demands of our lives to be more important to us than us.

This begs the question: What’s more important in your life, you or the busy?

We can start small.  We can allow “Progress, not perfection,” (Jill Stante) to guide us.

  • We can make time for that phone/zoom call to a friend.
  • We can eat something nutritious.
  • We can prioritize quality sleep.
  • We can squeeze in 10 minutes of yoga before lunch.
  • We can reflect on our days and see what good things we are already doing for ourselves and acknowledge and give gratitude (Because sometimes, I find in my friends who say they are too busy to self-care, that they are already doing things, but they just don’t see it.  And in not seeing it, they often feel they are lacking.  So see yourself & hug yourself for all that you are already doing!)
  • We can do the little things.

Because you are worth your every effort, big and small!

Positive, functional relationships, anti-inflammation, health. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

It all comes down to some simple questions with answers that only you can give:

  • What life do you want to live?
  • Do you want to live the life that actually lives you instead of the other way around?
  • Will you value yourself, defining your self-worth through your self-care?
  • What choices will you make in your life?  (These choices are your life.)

What life do you want to live?  Will it be a life for you or against you?  Will you choose you?  Or will you choose to always be too busy?

You are worth SO MUCH!

You are worth nutritious food.  You are worth good sleep.  You are worth your love, hugs, kindness, and patience.  You are worth 10 minutes to stop, soak up some sun, breathe mindfully, and be present in your life … thinking only of you and the moment you are in!

You are worth your life!!!

Choose you!  Every time.  It’s in the small things.  The big things.  It’s in all the things!

Hope our chat today hugs you and your heart SO BIG!

Love you!

Muah!

xoxox

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Perimenopausal Depression

perimenopause, menopause, symptoms. mary kate kopec. love and big hugs.

Perimenopausal Depression

Hello Beautiful Blossom!

Today, let’s talk perimenopausal depression … cuz I’ve just experienced my first true/serious bouts of it … and it suuuuuuuuuuuuucks!

Let me start off by saying, “Holey Shiz Fuzzbuckers.”  I’d use the real words, but I try to keep my site pure and clean, lol, but for realz.

But seriously.  Perimenopausal depression is HARD.

Let’s get some basics about me:

  • I’m not usually a depressed kinda human.
  • However, in my formative years, I experienced complex-multiple trauma, so I’ve been through shiz and know depression intimately.
  • Until recently, my perimenopasual transitioning hormones have been creating a “phenomenon” I refer to as the “sobbies,” similar to the “weepies,” but bigger and harder.
    • Weepies … you get a little emotional, maybe a tear or two slips out.
    • Sobbies … your face melts, your chest aches, and you cry like the world is falling apart.  However, strangely, you can feel completely emotionally ok … like, I’ve been sobbing my face off while thinking about what I want to do when my hormones get done making me cry.  It’s sorta an outta body experience.

What Does Perimenopausal Depression Feel Like?

OK.  With that foundation, lemme describe the perimenopausal depression I have recently experienced.

It started gradually.  It’s a bit like a silent creeper.  I felt a little down.  But nothing big.  Nothing worth even really noting.

As the hours ticked by, I noticed I got gloomier and gloomier.  Isolated.  Lost.  Feeling terribly defeated.  Thinking: what’s the point?  Why live if this is life?

And before I could fully process what was happening, I was deeply, darkly depressed.  A heavy black blanket of suffocation weighed down on me.

No motivation.

No willpower.

Just misery.  And darkness.

And then the tears.  Rivers of tears.

And then as if by the kisses of love fairies and the light of the stars come to rescue me, my hormones would release me from their horrible spell, and I would suddenly be my usual bright self, as though I’d never felt deeply depressed at all.

Important Takeaways When Coping With Perimenopausal Depression

My takeaways to share with you:

  • The power of your hormones is IMMENSE.
  • Your hormones can take you from beautiful you to devastated you with such stealth, you may not even realize it’s your hormones.  You might think you a truly a depressed person.  (In the time that the hormones are doing whatever they are doing in your body to cause the perimenopausal depression, YOU ARE TRULY DEPRESSED!)
  • Don’t try to navigate this alone.  My episodes so far have only lasted about 8 hours (THANK THE STARS!!!!), but I’ve felt so badly, I consider my wellness state compromised and requiring assistance.  Hug your honeybun.  Call a friend.  Keep a loving human nearby to hold you and help you.  It’s that scary serious!)
  • Talk to your doctor.
  • Talk to your therapist (I have mine on speed-text.).
  • Self-Care to Sunshining MAX!!!!

This perimenopausal depression is so deep it CAN / WILL SHUT YOU DOWN.  Your life activities stop.  Until you get through it, you are outta commission.  It’s non-negotiable.  Your hormones are fully in charge, and you have to ride the ride.  And it is a shizzy ride.  You’ll want off of it so badly.  You’ll cry.  You’ll beg your body to be kind.

So, again.  Do not try this at home, alone.  Or at work.  Or anywhere.  Have someone with you.  Someone you can hold on tight to.

And know.  It will not last forever.

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs! Perimenopausal Depression Coping.

Self-Care & Coping Through Perimenopausal Depression

A couple of quick notes for self-care that I have found especially helpful:

  • ANY stress (mental, emotional, &/or physical) will upset your hormone balance, and for some, like me, even a small amount of stress can do it.  So DE-STRESS!!!!
  • Yoga!  In everything that I’ve read, the number one go to for all hormones challenges in the movement category is Yoga.  Not walking.  Not running.  Not any other form of movement.
  • Ujjayi breathing … quiet space … 5 minutes of this … everyday … life-changer!
  • Hugs, more hugs, and more hugs!
  • Having your loved-one gently rub your back, down your arms, the base of your neck … the connection makes a helpful difference while you are suffering.
  • Having your loved-one gently talk you throughRemind you this won’t last forever.  You will get through this.
  • Coloring, creating, arting.

In all of the reading and researching I’ve done, I can tell you the big helpful push is to get your stress levels down and your oxytocin levels up!

Note: Oxytocin is a happy hormone in your body that can reduce the cortisol (stress hormone) levels in your body created by … you guessed it, stress!  When your body makes cortisol (when you are stressed mentally, emotionally, or physically), it makes less of estrogen and progesterone (exacerbating your imbalanced and transitioning hormones during perimemopause … which makes your symptoms, like depression, worse.)

Read this great article at Healthline for how to get your Oxytocin levels up!

Well, Beautiful Blossom, I really hope this has helped you understand perimenopausal depression better.  I hope it gives you some ideas for how to cope with and navigate this challenge.  I hope you get the love, help, encouragement, and support you need to help you cope better, more healthily, and get you back on your happy feet as soon as possible!

I’ve linked a number of my posts on My Body Is an Alien blog series … all about hormones and perimenopause/menopause.  You can click to dig in deeper and get a more comprehensive understanding.

I hope you feel better soon!

I’m hugging you SO BIG!!!

And remember … always, always, always, reach out to your care team for support!  That’s what they are there for!

Be well, Beautiful!!!

Love you!

 

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Friendly ChitChat
On the Bog (with Kat, Bear, & Wogs)

Chatting with Friends. On the Bog. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Happy Chatting with Friends!

Recent winter days had been gray, blustery, and teeth-chatteringly cold On the Bog.  So, when the sun popped through the clouds, bringing brightness and cheer, our adventuring trio, Kat, Bear, and Wogs, set out for an afternoon trek through the windblown, ice-crusty snow, looking for some fun and friends!

The sound of Bear’s sled carving a path through the snow was its own kind of hypnotic, relaxing delight.  Kat and Wogs soon found themselves humming in time with their rhythmic footfalls crunching deeply into the snow; Bear happily purred along in accompaniment.

Squeech and Tookie joined in, chirping with mirth while flitting and zipping from the trees to the bogtails, playing and munching in delight!

They were quite the happy little harmony!  It was simply wonderful being outside with nature!

Through the distance, the echo of their sunny enjoyment floated back to them, getting louder and louder until Kat, Bear, and Wogs realized they were being approached.

Friends emerged from a tree-lined path on the other side of the Bog.  It was Sandy and Sweet Samson out for their own adventurous sled-riding trek!

Pausing On the Bog, Kat, Bear, Wogs, Sandy, and Sweet Samson all waved hello and stopped for some exciting chitty chat!

What heartwarming happiness it is seeing and being seen.  Hearing and being heard. 

Chit chatting.  Connecting.  Being Friends.  Sharing kindness and love.

They all laughed about their perfect timing and hoped to see each other again soon!

Kat (giddy for seeing friendly faces):  Ohmigosh Sandy, Sweet Samson, how lovely to see you!

Wogs (smiling big)How are you both?  Having a fantastic adventure today?

Sandy (overjoyed for bumping into friends)We’re good!  How wonderful to find you out here!

Bear (jovially flicker-swishing his tail and thinking cool sled of Sweet Samson’s ride):  Mrow!

Sweet Samson (waving his curly tail and thinking cool sled of Bear’s ride):  Mrow!

You are precious and unique, like a snowflake. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Friendships, Relationships, & Connection

Hello Precious-Hearts!

I hope you are happy, healthy, safe, and well today!  May the bright and healing light of the stars, the universe, and the heavens above speedily bring you any of these you are lacking!

Let’s have a quick share about connection and connecting today!

Our relationships with ourselves, our friends, our families, … all the people in our lives near and far, … these relationships … these connections … are what we make of them and allow them to be in our lives.

They can love us, support us, hold us, empower us.  They can help us move mountains uphill.  They can be the light in the darkness, and the strength when we are weak.

They influence who we are and who we are becoming!

I invite you to connect with yourself today.  Be your own best friend (There’s no one in this world you will spend more time with than  you, so loving and being kind to you is wonderful and powerful!).

I also invite you to connect with a friend or loved one today!  Someone you can share goodness with.  Someone you will feel brightened by, and someone you can help feel brightened by you!

Connection through friendship with yourself and with those you love … it’s a beautiful, life-brightening goodness! 

Thank you for being here with me today!  Thank you for connecting with me!  Thank you for sharing this precious time together!

I love you BIG!  Hugging you even BIGGER!

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Magical Manifesting

Magical Manifesting. Bring your life to life! Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Hello Love Birds!!!

Have you ever invited change into your life … like you’ll exercise more or you’ll eat better or whatever it is you’ve wanted or needed to change … but somehow, some way, your invitation gets lost in the mail?

Love.

Accomplishments.

Growth.

Mindful change.

Making our lives an even better place to be.

Becoming who we want to be.

All very worthwhile and worthy of you and your life, so I got to thinking, how can I help my precious-hearted peeps actually do something meaningful?  Create lasting, positive change?  Make something good of those intentionsBecome the blossoming love bird they want to be?

You had an idea.  A motivation.  A need.

But then, that want/need/motivation, … it goes by the wayside.

Let’s see if we can change that.  Let’s get you that change!  Let’s help you make a positive difference in your life!

Rest to manifest. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Making Change!

How Mary Kate?  How do I make this change?  I want to grow this new thing into my life, but I seem to lose to my way.  Ya know.  Life is hard.  I’m busy.  I realized my change was taking too much time. … I got distracted … etc, etc, etc.

Well, Sweet Pea … most change does take time.  A bit of effort.  But what if I could give you a concrete, straight-forward, no-frills, step-wise plan to ensure your success?

Let’s help you take your intention from “nice idea” to real, positive change in your life?

Oh, and BTW … this is not a sales pitch, lol.  But seriously.

I’m for realz gonna share my magical, change-making goodness with you right here and right now.

Manifest your fresh start. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

How to Manifest

Ze Steps!

(said with a French accent, to be cute and fancy and fun)

  1. What do you want/need?  What change are you looking for?  Define it.  Visualize it.  Write it out.  Doodle it on a piece of paper.  Scribble it on your phone/tablet/digital device of choice.  What? Do? You? Want?  … See it.  Know it.  Be clear and detailed.
  2. ASK for it.  Ask the universe.  The universe is filled with ebbing and flowing energy.  It is filled with everything we need and want.  So let the universe in on what you want/need.  This way the universe knows and can feel your desires and can get on your side to help you!  (Additional ways to ask: meditation, prayer, focused thoughts, lighting a candle and sending your wish into the stars with the flame, etc.)
  3. Dig in.  Help the universe help you!  The universe is a place of energy and abundance, and it gives to you in the form of energy.  So you – with your arms, legs, body, and mind – are going to have to show the universe you are serious and help make this dream/want/need come true (Yep, I just sneakily upgraded to potential dream status stuff, too!) … (I mean, hey? Why not?  The universe has it all, so why not think as big or as small as we want? … But remember … the universe is energy … youz gotsta use that energy to make your ASK happen.)
  4. Trust. Faith. Patience.  Trust that what you ASK is there and coming to you.  Trust.  Believe.  See it.  Know it.  Feel it.  And be ready.
  5. See/note the signs.  Pay attention to your progress.  The little/big steps that come your way.  See the signs.  Note them, and realize you are getting closer and closer to receiving your ASK.
  6. Give gratitude for every step you get closer and closer.  You are making progress!
  7. “Increase your vibration.”  (I love this step … and it, along with the foundations of this list, comes from a HuffPost article I read … worth the read.)  I hear “increase your vibration,” and I hear … “GO FULL ON PINK!!!”  Oh, yaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!  :0)
  8. Overcome your “blocks.”  Overcome doubt.  Overcome negativity.  Overcome the behaviors, thoughts, actions, … the “whatever” … that is keeping you from reaching your ASK.
  9. Receive your ASK with GRATITUDE!!!!

Now, maybe I should’ve started at the top of my chat with this next bit I’m about to mention.  I kinda buried the lead.  But there’s a foundation, a fabric, a backdrop from which you need to operate on in this step-wise ASK-rewarding approach …

Remember … the universe is energy.  So.  Positive energy in, gets you positive energy out.  And vice versa.

So … if you vibrate smiles, love, can-do, will-do, gratituding-goodnesss … that’s gonna come back to you.  Triumph!  (Feel free to say it with a French accent for fun!) And squee!

But if you boo-face it.  Nay say it.  Doubt it.  Or sabotage yourself willingly or unwillingly … Well.  Le sigh.

What we are talking about here is called “manifesting.”

Manifesting is a process.  A concept.  A way of approaching life.  A way of channeling your goodness and energy into creating the life you want to live!  … And if I’ve just walked you into a “woo woo” territory that makes you fidgety in your seat … hang on for a few … I’ll make it worth your read and time! :0)

Magical Manifesting: How To

Bringing your life to life!!!!

How to Manifest: The steps. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Manifesting steps summarized for you in a handy-dandy, reference digi-art!

I’ve been interviewing blossoms who practice the art of manifesting in their lives, and the upcoming Positudes are summaries of their gained insight and wisdom from their practice. They share this with you for encouragement and support!

Manifesting Musts. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Skeptic?  It’s okay … I was, too.

A PINK-hearted, health & wellness promoting, life coaching, educating, mentoring, previous life and pharmaceutical scientist like me … I came open to the idea of manifesting (having been hearing the word dropped into a zillion conversations by blossoms I know over the last 2 years and wanting to share concrete helpful goodness with you) … but I also came with a bit of skepticism on the woo-woo sounding concept.  “Unh-huh, sure … I’m sure you manifested that money right on into your account.”

I wasn’t sure or convinced … at first.

One of the things I have found as I’ve been researching the practice of manifesting, is that like many other practices, it is open to interpretation.  And from interviewing the above blossoms, I can affirm my finding.  Each blossom I spoke with has a different approach, different way of thinking about her practice, and different motivations for her manifestation practice.

However, I also readily recognized core patterns and essential elements practiced by each of these beautiful souls!  (My research, these interviews, and my own experimentation with my new found manifesting practice helped me create the list of steps I provided above.  Those steps are the core of manifesting success!)

When I think of manifesting, I think of it as a form of project management:

  • goal setting with activated actions steps and progress assessment along the way
  • with your life and intentions being your project
  • buuuut project management high on the fumes of PINK POSITIVITY, a will-do attitude, trust, patience, and the universe as an energy-granting, gotch-yo-back teammate!

Manifesting is some seriously life-altering awesomeness!

I’m a newby.  Just getting started.  And I’ve already been manifesting wellness and goodness into my life that I didn’t have before.  And I’m so PINK, I’m giddy over the moon!

This isn’t to say I didn’t hit snags in my efforts.  It is a PRACTICE after all.  When I tried and failed, I saw where I “stood in my own way.”  When I succeeded, I saw great satisfaction in overcoming my own blocks and self-defeating behavior.

Because manifesting is often misunderstood or discounted … met with doubt … I have been on a scientific/investigatory journey over the last month.  Reading, researching, learning, growing, interviewing peeps who manifest to hear their thoughts and experiences, and ultimately, trying it out for myself!

There’s so much I’ve learned and experienced and now have to offer; I’ll blog about it for those who want a deeper dive.

But for here, in our Love Letter, know this (from an original skeptic): IT WORKS!!!

Manifesting Works! Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Manifesting Works!  Bring your life to life!

Truly.

If you want it.  If you want positive change.  If you are willing to live it.  Manifesting will change your life … how you live … how you think … how you approach your needs and wants.

Manifesting is a practice.  Something you grow.

For instance … one does not run a marathon on their first ever attempt at running.  It takes practice.  Time.  effort.

So … don’t be all like: Hey, Universe! I want a million dollars!

Remember, you’ve got to come at your ASK with clarity, will-do, trusting, and go gettem positivity.

Don’t expect the universe to just drop a million dollars on your lap if all you do is throw the thought out.  There’s more to it than that.

Buuuuutttt … if you follow those steps listed above … with the universe on your side, being for you all the way, … you will manifest this goodness in your life!

Manifesting is life-changing!  It’s powerful!  It’s empowering!

Getting rid of negative thoughts. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Manifesting is founded in positive thinking.  Here’s what you can do to get rid of those pesky negative thoughts.

As I mentioned, for manifesting to work, you have to get positive!  You have to channel your PINK, your love, your positivity, and you have to let go of your hesitations, negativity, doubt.

And sometimes that can be hard.

Since I’ve been on my deeper wellness journey (started at the beginning of 2020 with my onset of scary, hard health challenges), I’ve come to embrace the words:

Let it go.

However, sometimes, it’s not as easy as letting it go.  I try, but “it” is still there.  Especially when my anxiety screams or I get a panic attack.

While interviewing my beautiful blossoms, one interviewee – Cheri Roberts – said to me something along the lines of:

Let it go? (In reference to negative thoughts) … Where they gonna go?  You let them go, and they just hang around.  Sometimes you gotta push that negative thought into a corner and tell it to eat a sandwich.

O! M! G!

First, I laughed at the image.  But.  It resonated with me so BIG!  And honest to the heavens … it freaking works!  I’ve been shoving my negative, nay-saying, doubting thoughts and words into a corner, telling them to eat a sandwich, and it’s working!

I’m laughing right now thinking that I’ve shoved so many thoughts into a corner now that there’s a Cafe Noir where my negative thoughts go to die, after first being fed a nutrient-dense, wellness sandwich.  They either eat the sandwich and turn positive, or they die.

And good riddance.

Just in this part of the manifesting practice alone, I’ve been feeling such a weight lifted off of my shoulders.  I’ve been feeling SO MUCH MORE POSITIVE!!!  (And you might be thinking, “As if that could be possible, MK … How in the world could you get any PINKer???”)

LOL

… But remember, I’m human … with scary health challenges … living in a world gone amuckHappiness During the Pandemic? … and I have stellar anxiety!

The negative thoughts … they come.

And they suck.  They try to tell me the worst, most terrible things.

But now I am getting pretty good at pushing those self-defeating beasties aside.  And I will continue to grow this strength in me … as it comes with such relief from the mental darkness.

And let’s be real … negative thoughts are in fact self-defeat attacking you.  Fight back!  … I am!

Get your positivity on, and get your life back!

Word Choice Matters for Manifesting. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Word Choice Matters for Manifesting

Word choice is powerful!

Lastly for our Manifesting Woo Woo Awesomeness: Let’s talk Can Do versus Am Doing!

In positive reaffirmations and oracles and posituding, you’ll see encouraging words like:

You can do this!

And by the way, yes, you can do this!  So I don’t want to minimize the impact of the messaging … sometimes, it’s exactly what we need to hear.

But here.  Listen to these words:

I AM doing “it.”

Can we get through this pandemicYes.

But better.

We ARE getting through it!

Can Do is EmpoweringAm Doing is POWER!

Every time you do something good for yourself … acknowledge your accomplishment.  Acknowledge your success.  Acknowledge the goodness you have activated in you and your life!

I can lose weight.  I AM losing weight.

I can get healthy.  I AM getting healthy.

I can be happy.  I AM happy.

BE.  BEcome.

Update from Can-Do to Am-Doing!

BEcome the you you want to BE!  Live the life you want to live!

Grow the goodness you want to embody into you and your life!

And if you want, use the PINK-powered, Universe-Assisted, Dream-Achieving, Magical Manifesting steps given to you here to help you!

When bad things happen to good people with good intentions …

Honestly, I can’t in good conscience share manifesting with you … as what is ostensibly a philosophical way of living and being without addressing the objection – the hard question.  Because in truth, I asked the same question.

How do you explain horrid things?  Are you trying to tell me that good people who have horrid things happen to them manifest the horrid thing … like you’re blaming them for their own tragedy?

Just to be clear, my answer is a HARD NO.  I don’t believe people purposely manifest a tragedy.  I believe people manifest a goodness, a something they want … like going to Ariana Grande’s concert in Manchester, England.  The tragedy is their manifestation aligned with the terrorizing manifestation of a suicide-bomber.

Manifesting is a directing of energies … not all people are channeling loving energy.

When bad things happen = The confluence of 2 opposing manifestations.

The concert-going intention had NO WAY of knowing about the terrorizing intention.  It’s terrible.  It’s shitty.  And in cases like these, we may want to scream at the universe.  We may want to know WTH it’s thinking.  We may want to challenge the universe.  It is the way of tragedy, loss, and grief.  But … and just to be clear – I’m NO physicist. I’m just working with my understanding of the science … overall the universe is energetically neutral with a balance of both positively and negatively flowing energy.  There is positive energy, and there is negative energy.  And sometimes positive and negative intentions collide to tragic outcomes.  Other times, positive intentions overpower the negative.

What I’m left with is … honestly … a core guiding principle: live in love, do my best, share my best, and carry on.  Live with hope.  Live with positive intention and goodness.  And ask for light and love to surround me and protect me.  Hope.  Love.  Kindness.  … There are no guarantees, but we can be the good in life, if we choose.

Be Love. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Where did Manifesting come from anyway?

One last note on Manifesting.  Who thought this up?  How did it become a thing?

Manifesting is based on the law of attraction from New Thought spirituality … law of attraction … that’s the whole channel positive energy to get positive energy back thing.  Cheri Roberts from above has read the book(s) and is a lifelong practitioner of Manifesting.  She walks the walk and talks the talk.  She is truly amazing, and honestly the most lit-up, incredibly positive person I know.  She brings amazing light into the world!  She and her life are an inspiration and a testimonial in manifesting.  She’s a real life case study.  I found her conviction encouraging, and she is truly the Cheri (cherry on top) to get me to try this ‘woo woo’ magic.  I give immense gratitude for her time and share, as even in my ever beginning manifesting practice, I am seeing so much goodness come from my efforts and evolving mindset.  POSITIVE POWER, peeps.  Positive Power!  :0)

Well Love Birds, I hope I’ve helped you gain a deeper understanding of Manifesting … along with some powerful, actionable know-how to make positive change in your life!

You are beautiful!  You are loved!  Thank you for sharing this growing, loving time with me!

Be safe!  Feel my ginormous hug!  Know that I love you SO BIG!

Muah,

MK  :0)

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Let’s Make a Positive Difference!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Let's make a positive difference!

Let’s make a positive difference!

Hello Precious Heart!

There’s no one like me.

There’s no one else like me in the whole wide world.  (Never has been, and never will be again.)

No one who thinks the way I do.

Sees life the way I do.

Talks the way I do.

Shares the way I do.

Loves the way I do.

There’s no one else in the whole wide world who problem solves like me.  Who helps the way I do.  Who gives of her heart the way I do.

There’s no one in the whole wide world who will make the same kind of positive difference I can make.

Am I special?  Unique?

You bet your PINK-loving heart I am!  And guess what???

The same is true of you!

You are special!  You are unique! You are beautiful and perfect and growing and blossoming!  You are shining brightly!

You are the only one who can bring your amazing, special, unique light into this world … and we need you!  You need you!

Wake up sweet, precious, gorgeous soul!  The world is hurting.  We need you!  We need your light!

Shine brightly my love!  Shine your brightest and know you are not alone!  I am here with you!

We are voices of love!

We are voices of kindness!

We are voices of compassion, helpfulness, & change!

Together, we can make a positive difference!  Together, we can change the world!  Together, we can save the world!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Happiness During the Pandemic?

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Happiness during the pandemic?

Hello Beautiful Blossom!  Is happiness during the pandemic possible?

The question at hand:  Can you have happiness during the pandemic?  Is it possible?  Or happiness during any difficult life change for that matter … is it possible?

I think so.

Honestly.

It’s not always easy … at first, especially … but it’s possible!

And I’m going to share with you how I found happiness during the pandemic and other difficult times in my life in hopes my experiences can help you find new joys and feel better … super soon!

Right up front, I want to reassure you, I’m not talking oversimplified, fluffed-up B.S. here.  I’m not going to tell you some overly positive, unrealistic, useless crap.

I’m going to give you concrete, reality-based, helpful insight to help you!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Concrete, Reality-based, Helpful Insight

Let’s start with acknowledging how hard living can be in unusual times.  Be it a pandemic.  Leaving behind all that you know to have to start over in a new place.  Unexpected career change.  Or how about a change in relationship status?

When we’ve been living life as we see it, happily, and to suddenly get uprooted and lose the familiar, the comfort, the safety, the security, or whatever was making us happy … when we lose what we are used to … it can be very unsettling … and very upsetting.

Yet …

There’s something to be said for breaking routine … getting out of your comfort zone … trying something new.  … Hang with me here … give me a second to show you where I’m going with this.

When we do the same things over and over, day after day, our chances to face new challenges diminish.

We can stunt our own growth.  Our readiness to adapt can fade.

Think of it as Use It or Lose It.

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Personal MK Short Story Time with Big Time Enlightening Insight

About five years ago, I was at the peak of my chronic fatigue/lethargy/muscle weakness challenges.  I spent most of every day and every night in bed.  Sometimes sleeping for up to 21 hours at a time, to wake up for 3 hours, and then find myself fully spent and going right back to bed.

Adding to this, my honeybun and I were living in Philly for Honeybun’s work … far away from home … and very different from our nature-y, Midwest life in Michigan.

It was a depressing and difficult time.

We lived for my “good days/moments!” But when we got them, all the things we would normally do for fun and happiness weren’t there.  The life we loved was left back in Michigan, and we felt stuck.

There came a day when I was Skyping (old school to today’s Zoom) with a friend, and I was telling her about my woeful concerns and challenges, and she replied with the most amazing, supportive, but assertive words ever!

“Well, if you can’t rebuild your Michigan life in Philly, then find new Philly things.  Try that and see if you can build new happiness.”

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

How Did I NOT See that?

Wuuuuuut????

How simple.  And so obvious.

How had I not been able to just see it?  How I had not been able to just ask myself that question?

It was being stuck IN the moment, not being able to see such a straightforward solution.

 It’s like when you can’t see forest for the trees.

Sometimes you just need a fresh perspective.  An outside eye. Someone else independent of your view … the look of someone on the outside looking in to see what you can’t or don’t.

It was one of those conversational lightbulb moments that comes with the opportunity to heal and grow!

Since honeybun and I both had latent loves for photography and nature, we chatted and did some research, and before you know it, we were both geared up with digital cameras and a list of nearby gardens to visit.  And next good day, we bolted out the door with excitement!  This has led to new, cool friends and sustained life goodness!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Applying what I learned … turned into pandemic readiness!

So fast-forward to the early days of the pandemic and all the shutdowns and isolations.

I was ready.

I knew the drill.

Instead of getting lost in the depression of losing life as we knew it or our way of living … we just created new pandemic-life things to do for us.

Even as the pandemic has dragged on ruthlessly and unkindly … we have continued to grow new ideas and activities into our days.

I still have debilitating health challenges.  It’s a dangerous world out there for me.  So isolation is really our best plan.

But isolation is so … lonely … and potentially disconnected.

True.

But with the pandemic came Zoom.  I immediately sought out connectivity via Zoom.  I rethought my plans and grew in happy activities I could do in the safety of our space.  And when our little spot in the universe (Starry Cottage was finally built and ready for living), we dug in and have created happy spaces throughout our home to support a healthy, active, engaging, fun life … even in the pandemic.

Now, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you pandemic living is awesome.  Pandemic living has a big ol’ SUCKS!!!!!!! attached to it.

Do we miss getting out and playing in nature not just in our backyard?  Hells yes.

Do we miss seeing our peeps in person?  Yessssssssssssssss.

Do we miss the living freedoms we had before the pandemic hit?  Hells to the yes a million times over and over.

We even miss the simplicity of going shopping without being afraid for my life.  As such, I’ve not been inside a store, grocery or otherwise, in nearly 2 years.

But like living in Philly.  It wasn’t about rebuilding the life we had in MI.  That was impossible.  (The places, people, nature, and opportunities are all different … plus, our friends and family were all back home, plus, Philly is WAY more expensive!!!)

It was about building a new life filled with happiness in a space we had to be in – Philly.

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

What we’re really talking about here …

And that’s where we are today.  It’s not about building a permanent pandemic life – hopefully (and if so, we’ll cross that bridge when it gets here)It’s about adapting and coping and growing.

And the truth of it is … with these challenges, when you seek to find the happinesses that will help you manage the challenge you face … you can grow new goodnesses into your life.

Philly forever gave us photography (and new friendships)!  And I also learned how to digi-doodle and art!  And how to video call. 

All of these have been amazing helps during the pandemic!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Like Philly, the pandemic has given me gifts of happy growth as well!

I am a better, happier person!

  • I’ve met some amazing people in faraway places like Australia and the UK, and even way up in Canada … people, that sans pandemic, there would never have been a need, an impetus, to reach out to and grow into my life.
  • I have substantially grown my digi-doodling and digi-arting capabilities! I lose myself in my creating space … and my creative expression flows out of me with silly happiness!
  • I enjoy watching Bog TV (we have about an acre of nature behind our backyard to just sit and watch the trees, furry and flying and crawling creatures, the cattails flourishing in the bog, the ever changing sky, the stars … all of it) – being mindful and present, and sharing time with my honeybun.
  • I have found a bit of me that I never knew was there, and I’m getting to know this new me … and loving her! I’m way PINKer than I ever knew.  I’ve always been a lover and a helper, but I’ve found my light amongst the stars and here on earth.  I’m feeling a bubbling excitement that’s new and fun.  It’s making me smile bigger and brighter.  I LOVE this feeling!!!

So does living in pandemic times have a tremendous suck factor?  Sure.

But does that have to be all it is?  NO!

Can it be better than missing the way life used to be?  OHMIGOSH, YEEEEEESSSSS!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

It’s Your Turn!!!

So let’s get you up outta that stuck rut!  Let’s get you finding your new happy things!

Let’s get you past waiting for happiness to come back to you in “life as it was” returned.

Honestly … there’s real truth in the statement, “There’s no going back.”  Or “you can’t go back.”  There’s no going back and you can’t go back, because that moment is gone forever.  You are in a new moment.  You are in a new time.  With new things. 

Life will never be the same as it was before.

  • It’s basic logic.
  • Basic fact.
  • We’ve seen too many new things and experienced too many new experiences.
  • Life and its gifts and challenges continue to roll at us.

We grow.  We change.  We evolve.

Or we stay stuck, lamenting.  Disappointed.  Unhappy.

Let’s grow you, blossom!

You are beautiful!  You have so much happiness and goodness inside of you!  What is that thing?  Or things you’ve always wanted to try?  Or do?  Which one or ones will work for you in this moment of time?

Let’s help you let go of a life gone and blossom in your new life!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Your Happiness During Hard Times (the pandemic) Checklist!

I hope sharing my experience has given you insight into possibilities for your life.  Sparked ideas for you that will help you grow happiness into your days, no matter where you are or what big shiz is happening out in the world.

In summary:

  • Don’t wait around for the “the way it was” … it’s not coming back. It can’t.  You’re a different person now than you were then … life changes us … so even if you could go back, it still wouldn’t be the same, cuz you’re not the same.
    • Accept that your life and life around you is moving forward.
  • Ask yourself, “What new thing or things can you grow into your life that work for you now?”
  • Find and create ways to grow these things into your life.
  • Grow forward.
    • Let go of the past.
    • Love the parts of the past that were wonderful.
    • Appreciate the parts of your past that helped you grow and be a better you … a more defined you … a you with interests and ideas and abilities.
    • Give gratitude for all the parts of the past … even the hard ones.
      • They have helped shaped you into the person you are today with your current strengths and gifts and love to share!
    • Give gratitude for having a today to live and find and grow a happier, healthier you!

Well, Blossom, I give gratitude for any and all the help this sharing gifts you with!  (I’m hoping it’s lots and lots!!!!)

You are beautiful!  You are precious!  You are loved!

Give yourself the time you need to love you!!!

Thank you for sharing this time with me!!!  Hugging you so big!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Overcoming Negative Thoughts

A Page from MK’s Journal: Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Hello Sweet Friends,

Recently, I had to go for a mammogram and ultrasound … to investigate “a spot.”

With gratitude, I can tell you, I was given the all-clear.

But the days (and month … thanks to delayed scheduling during the pandemic) leading up to my appointment were a struggle.

Negative thoughts.  Anxious thoughts.  The what-ifs.  The scary drama train I was riding.  My brain kept trying to derail into darkness.

Thankfully my coping and wellness toolbox is chock-full of helpful images, positivity, affirmations, activities, … tools of the survival trade.

Even so, I was having a bit of a challenge after a month of build up and waiting, so the few days before my appointment, I started feeling anxious.  That horrid jittery energy that frazzles in your chest? … Had it.  Insomnia? … Yep, that, too.

I started having lots of little physical manifestations from the negative, anxious mental and emotional challenges I was facing … from being told there might be something wrong with me physically.

Oh, how the cycle goes round and round.  Well, actually, mental, emotional, and physical health are interconnected, not so much cyclically … more dynamically interconnected … tweak one and they all get tweaked.

So, there I was, starting to feel my body cave.  I knew I needed to get to self-caring on MAXIMAL SUPER BIG TIME to stop the train from wrecking, and wrecking me with it.

Time to try something new!  Time to grow my toolbox.

The universe heard me, and as I pulled up my Yoga With Adriene playlist, YouTube made a suggestion:  Let It Go Flow with Adriene.

Yes, please!

If you’ve heard me say it once, you’ve probably heard me say it a million times – Yoga With Adriene is an angel on earth!  She helps me heal, and I luvs her SO MUCH!  (Maybe someday I’ll even get to meet her … there’s a happy thought!)

I definitely recommend yoga in your toolbox.  Yoga is scientifically and medically shown to improve your health … in all the ways (mental, emotional, and physical)!

But for today, I want to share a bit from this Yoga With Adriene: Let It Go Flow.  It resonated so BIG with me that following my healing practice with her, I immediately hopped into my journal and started creating new journal pages to go with my daily living practice!

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Amazing Reminders from Yoga With Adriene!

In her Let It Go Flow, Adriene shares the following:

“Don’t give up on yourself.

“There are so many things that are out of your control,

“But there’s one thing absolutely in your control

“And it’s you, your thoughts, your energy, how you treat your body, how you use your thoughts, your energy and your body, hey-o”

And Adriene offers the following 2 mantras:

1st Mantra:

“Everything is as it should be.

“… This is acceptance.”

2nd Mantra:

“The universe is for me, and so is everything else.”  Adriene’s mom

And in a her Yoga For When You Are SICK video, she also mentions “Yoga as a medicine for life.”

These are some of her words that resonate with me so deeply!  And so I’ve journaled them.  To remind myself regularly, no matter which daily practice I am doing with her.

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Reflecting on Yoga With Adriene’s Words of Healing Wisdom

Adriene’s guidance, words, and wisdom reminds me to:

Focus on what I can do … I can let go of negative thoughts, and let flow the positive thoughts.

Instead of “What if there is something bad about to happen?” how about “What if something good is about to happen?”

I am a beautiful vessel of healing.

I nurture and nourish my wellness with care, so I can blossom brightly.  My loving efforts create healing, and help avert illness. 

With this mental power fueling me and helping me cope and feel calmer, I hopped into my journal to create some pages to hold me.

Adriene’s words, the words of her mother, and my reflections along with the artwork I was inspired to create (written and shown in this post) are my journaling for my healing, and they helped me cope through my mammogram day.

They helped me overcome negative thoughts.

I now have these words and images as daily (or as needed) loving reminders in my toolbox, and I love them!

You might’ve noticed I used the same flower art for 2 different positudes.  That’s the beauty of it being my journal.  I can doodle art it up and write whatever works for me, and I just love, love, love how my flower turned out, and it felt right for both of my positudes.  So, I doubled up for big hugging loves!

I hope these words, reflections, and positudes help you overcome negative thoughts, too!

May your heart be light and filled with PINK!  May your smile be bright!  May you feel my giant loving hug I’m squeezing you with right now!

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Journal for You!

Journaling. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Journaling for You!

Dear Sweet Blossoms!

Today, let’s talk journaling!!!  And before you potentially click outta here, like journaling ain’t yo’ thang … hang tight for just a sec.

Lemme share with you some awesomeness I’ve experienced from journaling … along with the things that didn’t work for me and the why’s of that.

Because, honestly, journaling – when you do you – can be SO HELPFUL, and SO HEALTHY!

For me, my journal is what I make of it, and I make it what I need and want:

  • Reaffirmation
  • Positivity
  • Support
  • Reflection
  • Goal creation
  • Action planning
  • A place to think
  • A place get “it” out and let “it” go
  • Loving, gentle reminders
  • Bright, colorful, happiness to greet me
  • An opportunity to create
  • Wisdom I’ve gained
  • Information I need
  • Dreamboarding
  • Anything and everything that serves me in growing my wellness and happiness

Here are some of the actual pages from my journal:

Journaling. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Journaling Don’ts

Many, many, many moons ago, I used to journal – like a diary.  And then my boyfriend at the time “just happened to glance over and accidentally read some it.”

Uncool, dude.  Uncool.

Also, back then, I tried writing every day.  Cuz that’s what you do in a diary, right?  You’re faithful with your self-reporting, and you …, and NO, this did not work for me.  I’d get busy and forget a day, then feel guilty.  A week would go by, and I would sit down and try to remember each day and write it out.

Uh.  I’m not gonna be a slave to my own good intention.  That defeats the purpose.

So lessons learned of what NOT to do:

  • Don’t write down anything you don’t want other people “accidentally” reading, or keep your journal locked up.  Personally, I still write down anything and everything I need to get out of my system.  I am, thankfully, now in a relationship filled with openness and trust.  I share everything with my honeybun.  But what about all those other pesky people living in the world?  You never know when one of them might just be snooping around your room … lol.  In short, anything I feel should be just between me and the universe gets a flame ride into the heavens after I’ve given “it” the time I need to process it, learn from it, and let it go.
  • Don’t make your journal anything other than what serves you … what fuels you … what helps you feel well, healthy, and whatever other goodness you seek.  In short, don’t journal like other people tell you to journal.
Journaling. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Journaling Do’s

It’s taken me time … learning what works for me, and then giving that to myself, to be able to create a journal space that nourishes and nurtures me – mind, body, soul, light, love, & spirit.

One of the things I’ve done in recent years is to go paperless.  I hope to reduce my footprint and consumption.  So I’ve become a digi-doodler, digi-everything.  And my journal is no exception.

In fact, until the pandemic started and my health took a super nosedive into the unknown, I hadn’t been journaling for a while.  But with everything going haywire (my health, and the health of the world around me), I needed a healing space … BIG TIME.  A resource of positivity to guide me and lift me up especially on my dark days.

I found creating a digi-journal to be incredibly exactly what I needed.  And the cool thing is, I have it downloaded into my Books on my phone, so I can have it with me whenever and wherever I need it.  (Being on my phone, and being digital, I simply update it when I have things I need/want to add/process/share, and then I download the updated version … easy and saaaweeeet!)

My suggestions for what To Do when creating your journal:

  • Be kind to yourself
  • Be patient with yourself
  • Give yourself the space you need to be authentic, honest, open, and there for you
  • Journal when it serves you – when you feel called to your pages, not when an external expectation/definition would have you journal
  • When you need to get “it” out, write freely, without thought to grammar, punctuation, “correctness,” etc … just let it rip!  Then process it.  And then, the ultimate – Let it go!
  • When you feel the “harsh-ies” toward yourself … you know, you’re telling yourself how much you suck in whatever special way only you can bring yourself down (we all do it) … well, go ahead and write down how much you suck (btw: you don’t suck!  not even a little!) … but so, write it down, and then my invitation to you … turn that negative self-talk into a positive in whatever way serves you:
    • maybe you give yourself a goal with an action list to accomplish your goal
    • maybe you reframe your negative thought into a positive thought
    • maybe you see the words for the hurt they cause you, and find a way to love yourself more instead of taking yourself out at the kneecaps with a word/thought bat).
  • Let your pages heal you, guide you, inform you, light up your day … let your pages bring positivity and wellness into your life
  • Remember always: Progress, not perfection. (quote: Jill Stante)
  • Remember always: Nourish to flourish!
  • Remember always: What can you do to help you and your body cope and heal right now?
  • Be as creative or uncreative as you want … it’s your journal … it’s your toolkit of healing, love, light … or whatever you need it to be!
  • Remember: Your journal is your space to be what you need/want it to be.
  • What inspires you?  Do you like to color, write, take photos, etc … how do you like to express yourself and document/witness your life?
Journaling. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Journaling for Reflective, Guiding Purpose!

Before we wrap up the idea of journaling, I want to share with you a specific page outta my journal I recently created.

The other day, I was feeling badly – health-wise – but I wanted to create something positive (for the goodness I could feel in the moment creating something positive, and for the positive of having created something I wanted to share with myself in my journal).

Recently, I’d been looking at scrapbook ideas for I can’t remember what reason, but I came across an image that inspired me.  And I thought, I gotta PINK that up in my own doodle-delicious way!

So there I was, feeling badly, wanting to create something positive, wanting to create a journal page, and having a scrapbook inspiration page.  So I created this:

Journaling. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Isn’t it just the PINKest, happiest scrapbook page, ever???  LOL.

Everything you see I created.  I used doodles and art I’d already created.  And I made some new.  And I PINKed up my Life Goals list of how I want to live my life/what’s important to me.

And now, it’s in my journal!  I can review it whenever I want/need to.   I can get high off of the delightful PINK eye-fumes.  I smile just looking at it!  It serves me.

And so, I share with you an example of what even a single page in your journal can do for you!

Even in the creation of this page, I gifted myself the positive, creative, soothing activity of assembling and playing in my doodle-tastic world.  I made a squee page for reflection and guidance, for healing and happiness.

The process was happy healing, and the product nourishes me so I can flourish!

A scrapbook journal page may not be your cup of tea.  That’s totally cool.  I’m not trying to convince you to scrapbook journal.  I’m inviting you to Journal for You!  You do you!  I just hope my share inspires you with your own ideas of helpful possibilities!

Hugging you the biggest and loving you even more!  Hope this writing brings a smile to your face and a hug to your heart … and happy new ideas for making your journal the coolest place ever!!!

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

MK’s Reflections: What life do you want to live?

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

What life do you want to live?

Hello Bright Star!

When I was a young adult, the life I wanted to live was survival.  Pay rent.  Get food.  Afford electricity.  The basics.

I joined the US Air Force to get stability and ended up in the Gulf War … not the most stable of life events.  And then I got lucky.  I was offered the GI Bill.  It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was help to go to college, and so I did.

In college, I knew I wanted 2 things: to be the absolute best student I could be (on the ideal this would provide me more options), and to get get a degree in science.  I nailed both.

This whole time, I never stopped to ask myself what life I wanted to live.  I was just simply living and surviving.  It was instinctual.  Habit, sort of.  I was just digging into life like what I saw other people doing.  Go to work, pay bills.  You know the drill.  But with college, the closest I got to asking myself what life I wanted to live was to simply keeping living and trying to build a better life than “survive.”

Jump forward a few decades of endless work ethic and hours, followed by chronic illness most likely brought on by all the work and surviving, and I’m in a new place.

A place with reflective and insightful perspective.  I’ve learned to ask the question: What life do you want to live?

Of course, this is a value based life query.

What life do you want to live?

I invite you to make some time for yourself and answer this question.  Grow your idea of life.  Grow your hopes and dreams.  Give your life meaningful direction by understanding what is important to you!

I’m going to share my answer to this question by rephrasing the question as: What are the TOP 10 things you want to do in your life?  (Asked this way by the ever wonderful Leonie Dawson!)

  • Have a beautiful, happy, supportive, loving, wonderful life with my honeybun
  • Create happiness, light, love, joy, positivity
  • Live in gratitude & wellness
  • Grow and nurture beautiful relationships
  • For my body, mind, soul, efforts, and energies, nurture, nourish, live, learn, and grow with sustainability, conservation, goodness, wellness, healthiness
  • Movement in my life through yoga, walking, bouncing, and outdoor adventures
  • Be authentic and genuine and be my best possible self
  • See and experience the beauty of nature
  • Live and die painlessly
  • Have a positive, kind, loving impact on all those I encounter … and if possible improve the earth’s wellness through my actions and helping others in need, like seniors, homeless, and abused and neglected animals

I hope sharing my list helps encourage you to create your list!

I use my list to guide my daily endeavors … I am living this life!  I love it!!!

I hope to help you grow a life you love living, too!

Big Hugging you with my loving PINK heart!

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!