Mary Kate Kopec - marykatekopec.com

But, but, but, … I LOVE Gluten!
Having to go gluten-free and making it work for me.

Title pic. Going Gluten-free. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Sweetest Love Muffins,

I LOVE gluten. I love it in my cakes, cookies, muffins, breads, biscuits, grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza, pasta, brownies, croissants, coffee cake, donuts, gravies, cereals, …

Going Gluten-free. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm … Gluten!!!

I miss it so much.

This will be my second holiday season sans the gluten. No Thanksgiving stuffing, gravies, desserts … oh my. I can’t even talk about Christmas and all the cakes and cookies and goodies I won’t be eating.

But I am adapting and making my own way.

Summer, a year ago, I had to go gluten-free for my health. At first it was just supposed to be a trial run to see if not eating it made me feel better. I was just over 3 years into what has become a chronic health moment in my life (now at 5 years in).

I make being an aging girl look really hard, and I promise you, I don’t mean to. Along with transitioning into perimenopause, my body has become alien to me in so many ways. It’s on a programmed mission that is difficult to cope with and is confusing me and my doctors. And it’s not telling us when, or even if, this is going to get better.

The symptom highlights I experience that are super relevant here: debilitating chronic fatigue, insomnia, exhaustion, and loss of a 24 hour day (My days can be as short as 2 hours, and I’ve gone as long as 34 hours – it was the major suck!!!).

For those of you who don’t understand what chronic fatigue is, it’s not like you just feel tired, like you didn’t get enough sleep. Nope, that would be a cakewalk compared to what it is for me. Imagine unbelievable weakness, where you can’t even get out of bed on your own. Imagine aching bones and joints. Being unable to concentrate and think, and not wanting to. Imagine being so mentally and physically fatigued that even breathing feels exhausting. And then you just lay there. A lump. Too debilitated and fatigued to do anything, and then add in the insomnia. You can’t even sleep yourself well. Which, by the way, sleeping doesn’t make you feel better or rested with chronic fatigue. You can wake up even more tired than when you fell asleep.

So with that picture, you might be able to understand why I was willing to try giving up the gluten. For those of you who know me and my love of chocolate goodness, you know this was a big give. But desperation was talking, and I was listening.

Just so you know, I’m not trying to convince anyone to go gluten-free. It’s so hard to do! All I’m saying is if you need to, it can be done, and in time, you will likely feel a whole lot better! And if you don’t need to, maybe my experience will help you to understand how hard it is for us, and help you to empathize with our journey.

The day we came home from the doctor’s office, the decision having been made, I went to our pantry and stared. I looked at all the yummy food that I wasn’t going to be able to eat. I was torn between feeling good about doing something to help my body but also thinking … what’s left to eat???

When going gluten-free, a first lesson you learn is that gluten is freaking EVERYWHERE!!! We Americans eat so much wheat and wheat processed product that its gluten has contaminated just about everything.

I came home thinking, all I have to do is move all the bread and wheat stuff to a newly designated “Paul’s side” of the pantry, fridge, and freezer. But nope. Just about every grain and dried product that you can think of has been processed in a facility that processes wheat, so gluten. And if you are gluten-sensitive, then yes, even that is enough to trigger a response.

So out went my grits, rice, corn, oatmeal, and all their related products, too. Going gluten-free when you really need to get gluten out of your body means going grain-free – unless, you specifically seek out gluten-free grains, which aren’t always easy to find.

And that cuts deeper than you might think. Marshmallows, for instance. Made with cornstarch. So yep, gluten. So no marshmallows. … Seriously?!!! You’re taking away my marshmallows on top of everything else? Yep.

So it’s not been easy. In fact, it’s been really freaking hard. I won’t lie to you. Going gluten-free is a challenge!!!! Especially when you are me, an organic vegetarian (who eats occasional fish). The variety in my diet plummeted, and I’m still working hard to build up my options and choices.

We are mixed household. Pauli still eats gluten … like … in front of me!!! LOL. We’re talking all the things I miss. Lots of gluten. Donuts. Cakes. Cookies. Pizza. And this list goes on. And it’s even worse for me … because we’re talking True Love, here … I still make cakes and cookies and all this gluten stuff for him to devour in front of me. (That’s like a straight to heaven kind of thing isn’t it?!!!)

For a quick explanation about the meat and organic choices … there’s a ton of cancer in my family, including colon and breast cancer. Just over a decade ago, I learned that practically every artificial food coloring used is correlated with colon cancer. This knowledge took me on my journey to find foods without additives and preservatives, which led me to organic options, and that has grown into a 99% organic habit. The meat, for me was hard to digest and came with its own hormonally induced symptoms. So what started out as removing red meat from my diet eventually turned into cutting out all meat except for occasionally eating sustainably wild-caught fish. Additionally, recently, I’ve learned the AMAZING benefits of bone broth, so I now also make and eat chicken bone broth (but don’t eat the meat itself).

SO. Being an organic vegetarian who needs to eat gluten-free brings me to my second lesson: it’s a very time consuming and effort-involved journey. Why? Because I have to essentially make all of my own food from scratch – which, let’s remember, the whole reason I’m doing this is because I have chronic fatigue … as in many of my days come with ZERO energy.

OK. I’m assuming by now, you are ready to run for the hills and say screw that going gluten-free thing. And if so, I get it. I understand. It’s hard, and it can totally suck at times. BUT, before you lace up your runners … here’s the thing:

It’s working. I’m not a 100% better. Not yet. But within a few months of cutting out the gluten, I noticed that my full-on, totally bedridden days reduced from about 27 days a month to about a week. And now, nearly a year and a half later, I maybe only have 1 – 3 REALLY BAD days a month, and for the most part, none of them are as bad as what I experienced back then. I still get fatigue attacks, but these days, they seem to be less intense and of shorter duration – however, they still drop me like a sack of potatoes in an instant and without warning. Also, I still have the insomnia and the non-24 hour day thing … but hey … improvement is good thing!!!!

So for now, I just want to wrap up with a couple of very IMPORTANT things I’ve learned so far.

FIRST

Gluten is definitely an allergen, and if you are not allergic to it, you can still be sensitive to it and experience negative health effects.

If you are in either of these categories, gluten is a highly inflammatory substance, and inflammation leads to disease like diabetes, heart disease, cancers, and rheumatoid arthritis.

If you have ongoing health troubles, and you are wondering if gluten might be at the core, there’s this great doctor online who freely shares an abundance of knowledge – Dr. Axe. I love his website, and he has no idea I’m talking happy about him. Check him out. (I’ve linked his name to one of the articles he’s written on gluten intolerance … it’s totally worth the read.)

Also, there’s a hiccup with conventional (non-organic) wheat that has nothing to do with gluten and everything to do with Round Up (the highly toxic weed killer they use to dry out the wheat faster to make it ready to harvest faster. There is conversation about whether people are reacting to the wheat or the Round Up. If you’d like to read more, Wellness Mama is a website (human’d by a number of health-invested professionals) that offers tremendous healthy living information. (I’ve linked you here to an article they wrote about conventional wheat … and if you are eating it and don’t like the idea of eating Round Up, please read this article … it’s eye opening!)

SECOND

It’s true that going gluten-free is a challenge, but making all of my own foods has saved us a lot of money … even with buying organic, gluten-free products. I’m eating super nutritious foods for far less expense. And my body is thanking me! So if you are feeling poorly, and you think gluten or wheat might be the culprit … it’s worth checking out. Just know that it can take a long time to see the full effects. It depends on you, your body, your needs, and your sensitivities.

What I can tell you is I LOVE Gluten, and even though I miss it, I am happy and grateful it’s out of my life, and I’m on the road to wellness again!

If you are interested in recipes I’ve found, made my own, and turned into things I love, email me and ask for recipes and I will start including them here.

Ready to take my Arting It Up for Happiness and Healthiness: Color Me Happier 7 Day Challenge?

Arting It Up for Happiness and Healthiness Color Me Happier 7 Day Challenge Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs

Each day support your healthiness with feeling less stress, less anxiety, more happiness and more positivity!

Easy, fun, happy, silly, adorable, and totally supporting you!

7 days of Love and Big Hugs!

Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!

11 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven happier and healthier promoting strategies:

Smile-making, positivity-promoting, happy coloring blocks
Gratitude Acknowledgements
Self-acknowledgement Reaffirmations
Includes “how to get the most out of this challenge” intro page & a summary reflection page

Arting It Up for Happiness and Healthiness Color Me Happier 7 Day Challenge Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs get button

You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!

Get Your POSitude On!

Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!

Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!

Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!

Gluten or no gluten, I hope your day is filled with sweet love and kindness and the biggest hugs ever to hold you and lighten your heart! Thank you for being here with me!!!

Love and Big Hugs,

What you give power, has power …

Hello Gorgeous Loves,

I haven’t always been strong. For a very long time, I wasn’t very strong at all. And there are still times when I don’t feel strong.

But there’s this thought in my head, this guiding principle I use to grow:

What you give power, has power.

This guiding thought is an offshoot of a quote:

“It all begins in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you.”
Leon Brown

Thank you Mr. Brown! I find his original quote helpful to me when thinking about facing my anxieties, and I am grateful for his words. To me, they tell me my anxiety is in my mind, and I can control it … which I try very hard to work on. This quote is a part of my Happy, Healing Place Toolbox of Goodness!

But today, I want to talk about my offshoot thought … What you give power, has power! To me, this version isn’t about something having control over you. This version is about growing. Taking something important to you and investing in it, so that it will grow and grow and grow.

What you give power, has power.

And I’m talking about you!

Me. You. All of us!

If you grow your love, your love will be powerful!
If you grow your self-confidence, your self-confidence will strengthen and become powerful!
If you grow your ability to self-care, your self-care will be powerful!
If you grow your self-worth, your self-worth will be powerful!

When you invest in you, you invest in your values and what you can do for yourself. You make yourself stronger, more self-reliant, more capable. Better prepared to handle life and its obstacles and challenges. You will be more open to the gifts of life. The goodness for you!

It doesn’t mean you won’t stumble or even fall, ever again. But that’s okay. You keep investing, learning, and growing. What you give power, has power.

When you give yourself power, you will have power!

It doesn’t mean you will always have to stand on your own if you don’t want to. You can surround yourself with people who will love you, care for you, grow with you, support you, and who will bring you up and walk forward with you. That way when life throws the hard curve balls, you don’t have do it all on your own. That’s just you being strong and knowing what you need, when you need it, and doing your best to be prepared for when life happens.

What you give power has power. Mary Kate Kopec. Love And Big Hugs. POSitude — Live with POSitude!

We aren’t born knowing how to be strong, but as we face life and learn the lessons it is teaching us, we can grow our strength. We learn who we are and what we are capable of. We learn what we need and want to grow – what we want to be better at or stronger at. This is all good!

In the process, we’ll fail, make mistakes, and need time to heal and grow. That’s okay. It’s how it works. What’s important is not letting our failures or mistakes bring us down (at least not for too long). Look at them for what they are, life’s learning and growing moments. Learn and grow, and become stronger. Also, it’s vital that we give ourselves the time we need to heal and grow. (No one else gets to determine what that amount of time is. It’s up to each of us. It’s individual. And it happens when it happens.)

The bottom line:

What you give power, has power.

So … will you give YOU power, so YOU have power? The power to love, laugh, be happy, be kind, find joy, feel gratitude, be healthy, be strong, be confident, be whatever you value … be your best you. It’s up to you, but for sure, what you give power, has power!

Ready to take my Arting It Up for Happiness and Healthiness: Color Me Happier 7 Day Challenge?

Each day support your healthiness with feeling less stress, less anxiety, more happiness and more positivity!

Easy, fun, happy, silly, adorable, and totally supporting you!

7 days of Love and Big Hugs!

Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!

11 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven happier and healthier promoting strategies:

Smile-making, positivity-promoting, happy coloring blocks
Gratitude Acknowledgements
Self-acknowledgement Reaffirmations
Includes “how to get the most out of this challenge” intro page & a summary reflection page

You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!

Get Your POSitude On!

Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!

Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!

Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!

Thank you for being here – my heart is bright with joy for you! May your day be powerful with you and filled with love and happiness!!!

Love and Big Hugs,

Create your very own Happy Healing Place toolbox of goodness!

Hello Happy Hearts!

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how kindness saved my life. In my story of me, I talked about having a safe place to go and be while life was beating me down. In our happy chit chat today, I want to grow this idea into a bursting toolbox of goodness that will help you tackle the tough times!

Firstly, lemme explain what I mean by a safe place. To me, safe can be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually … it can refer to any plane you are existing on. So to me, a safe place is a place you feel happy, relaxed, calm, at peace, … to me, it is a place for you to heal your heart, mind, body, soul … whatever needs healing.

So let’s call it our happy, healing place!

Depending on whatever trauma and drama your life is dealing down on you, this place can vary, as well as how you use it.

Let’s grow your Happy, Healing Place Toolbox of Goodness. You can fill it with anything that makes you happy and helps you heal. Things like:

happy memories
happy imagined places
photos of happy times
happy meditations
songs or music that make you feel happy
happy books you can read
a journal for creating, drawing, arting it up, and writing out thoughts that lead you back to happiness
favorite places you love that make you feel calm, peaceful, and happy
spending happy time with a friend
… and anywhere or anything else you can think of

To give you an idea of something you can put into your toolbox of goodness, here is a drawing of my favorite imagined place and the words I use to meditate it into my mind. For me, this place is perfect. It’s nature and delight. It’s comfortable. Peaceful. Relaxing. And it makes me smile. The sun is always warm and bright. The tree is always strong and protective. The birds are always delightful. Even the bugs are filled with mirth (and they never sting or bite!). My blanket is soft and great for sitting, laying, and napping. The breeze is always soothing. Sometimes, I add bunnies, squirrels, and/or chipmunks. And since Baby Bear (our beloved cookie cat) has gone on to live in the stars on Betelgeuse, sometimes even he visits me here … he always did love a good sun warming. And if Pauli is away and can’t be with me right then, he comes and sits with me, too.

Your place can be anywhere, with anything and anybody that makes you feel good, happy, peaceful … anything and everything that helps you relax and heal. That gives you and your body, mind, soul, and spirit a rest.

In last week’s post, I talked about how all the forms of stress (mental, physical, emotional …) wear your body down and impact your health. I talked about when you don’t feel well, you likely don’t feel very happy. So whatever trauma or drama is causing you stress (be it at work, home, in a relationship, anxiety, whatever, wherever, whoever), it’s hurting you, your health, and your happiness. Your Happy, Healing Place Toolbox of Goodness helps you get needed rest to rejuvenate and cope by spending time in your safe, happy, healing place.

Your toolbox is a tremendous asset to your wellness!

So a very good reason for you to grow your toolbox and to have it pre-made/thought of, written out, collected (however you want to assemble it for readiness) is that it becomes an easy go-to and reminder of all the tricks you have up your sleeves for when times get tough and your stress levels go up.

Because, honestly, once you are already feeling down, bad, low, stressed, and anxious, it can hard to remember the goodness in your life. It can be hard to remember the happinesses in your life. It can be hard to remember what to do and how to help you feel better. This toolbox is for you!

To help you get started, I’m giving you 2 coloring pages – all you have to do is click below. One is for you to be able to create a visual of a happy place you love. The other one is for you to list out, write out, explain, draw, … whatever works for you … your list of happy, healing places to spend healing time in. Perhaps even a reminder checklist of your options. Whatever works for you. Keep in mind, some of your happy, healing places might work better for certain kinds of trauma and drama than others, and etc. So be creative. Think happy! Grow your Happy, Healing Place Toolbox of Goodness, and get to healing and feeling happier! This is self-care that loves and big hugs you tight!

Create your very own happy healing place toolbox of goodness Color Page get button. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs

Ready to take my Arting It Up for Happiness and Healthiness: Color Me Happier 7 Day Challenge?

Each day support your healthiness with feeling less stress, less anxiety, more happiness and more positivity!

Easy, fun, happy, silly, adorable, and totally supporting you!

7 days of Love and Big Hugs!

Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!

11 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven happier and healthier promoting strategies:

Smile-making, positivity-promoting, happy coloring blocks
Gratitude Acknowledgements
Self-acknowledgement Reaffirmations
Includes “how to get the most out of this challenge” intro page & a summary reflection page

You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!

Get Your POSitude On!

Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!

Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!

Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!

I’m so happy you are here! You make my day brighter, and I thank you for your love and totally PINK hearts and smiles!!! Wishing you a delightful day filled with kindness and hope!!!

Love and Big Hugs,

Arting it up for happiness and healthiness – color your stress away!

Hello Sparkling Sprites of Joy!

I’m so excited to talk to you today about THE something that has helped me calm my anxious nerves and tackle overwhelming stress more than anything else (except for Pauli’s hugs and soothing voice) … but he can’t be by me 24/7, and let’s be real … even heroes need a break now and again! :0)

So what do I do to calm myself, to relax, de-stress, and squelch the anxious voices and energy that can take me from peaceful to freaked out in zero to instantaneously? I art it up!

I’m more of an anxious person (had my first full on panic attack when I was 11) than someone who gets stressed out. But anxiety and the anxious, negative energy it produces creates physical and emotional stress … so even though it’s a different input for the stress, it’s still stress. And blossoms, stress is B. A. D., baaaaaaddd!

Whatever form it comes in, stress is inflammatory, and chronic inflammation has been identified as a key player/root cause in many, many diseases and states of unwellness: heart disease, type 2 diabetes, some cancers, ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease, asthma, multiple sclerosis, and rheumatoid arthritis, just to name a few.

So let me hit some highlights about chronic inflammation. Don’t worry, I’m gonna zoom through here without scary scientific words just so we can be on the same page.

If there is a chronic inflammation, you might think there is likely an acute inflammation, and if so, you’d be right. So what’s the difference?

In the big picture: acute inflammation is the body’s healthy response to injury and illness to help your body heal, and it only lasts for a little while. Whereas, chronic inflammation is your body continuing its efforts to heal you for a long period of time (months to years), but the cause of the inflammation isn’t going away. Too much of a good thing is not so good. Too much inflammation actually hurts you.

inflammation happiness healthiness art therapy Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs

What kinds of things feed chronic inflammation? Lots of things actually. Poor diet, physical stress, mental stress, emotional stress, stress, stress, stress (stress is definitely a potent problem, cuz we all seem to have lots of it … lots of the time), … additionally, things like food allergies, environmental toxins (i.e., even the chemicals in your shampoo can be inflammatory), lack of exercise, bad/unhealthy habits, … you get the idea.

Are you with me when I say, healthiness impacts happiness, and happiness impacts healthiness? I say this, because, if you’re not healthy, you don’t feel well, and when you don’t feel well, it’s harder to feel happy. Likewise, when you are unhappy, it’s a form of stress, and stress leads to inflammation, and inflammation leads to unhealthiness.

Ideally … (insert as many LOLs as you need to here for this next statement, cuz I know it’s hard to achieve) … ideally, we achieve a balance in our lives, so we can glow radiantly.

In reality, it’s normal to have some low level of chronic inflammation … it kind of goes along with living. Normal-ish/ideal looks a bit like this:

But it’s when we get a multitude of factors that build up and feed our chronic inflammation, that things get mucky. Our level of chronic inflammation goes up and up and up and our beautiful balance of health and happiness gets squashed, and that can look like this:

Given that I’ve been dealing with chronic illness for about 5 years now (to include chronic fatigue), I have been growing and growing and growing my awareness and knowledge about my body and my health, trying hard to heal, and living an anti-inflammatory life to the best of my ability. Mind you, I’m not perfect … but I have learned a lot, and I’ve made a ton of changes that have been helping me tremendously!

But for fun, just between you and me … I still eat dessert, almost daily. Sugar is super inflammatory … like super duper … but a girl should get at least a little bit of chocolate fun most days, right?!!!!

So what do I do to help reduce the inflammation in my life? Well, I actively live a life where I try to reduce all the factors that promote inflammation, or as many as possible. And my anxiety is a bit of challenge. LOL, a bit of challenge? It’s often a BIG challenge.

I did a lot of reading, and I learned that being creative and arting it up … even coloring … any kind of art, whether you are good or bad at it, doesn’t matter. It all helps. So I started drawing and coloring. And lo and behold, I found what I read to be true! When you art it up, it redirects your thinking and your attention away from the anxious thoughts and the stress crawling up your spine. Well, … yes, please. I hate feeling anxious, and when I sit down to color or draw or doodle or whatever, it takes my mind off of the scary thoughts and my anxiety and stress levels come way down, even all the way down.

So … for you. Today, I’m giving you one of my squee-doodles to print off right now and color. Give it a try. Take 5 minutes and see if you relax a little. Or even a lot.

Arting It Up Happier and Healthier Color Page Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs get button

I’ve talked to my girlfriends who have tried the adult coloring books, and what I hear a lot is that they actually get stressed, because they try to do all the coloring, but the pictures are so large, and the details are so fine, they get stressed trying to make time to finish the picture (which defeats the purpose).

If this is you, then you’ll love my cutie patutie little color blocks. They’re small, adorkable, filled with fun and happiness, POSitude, and they only take a little bit to color. BUT, they give you a few minutes just to yourself (self-care), to color happiness and wellness into your body.

You can take your self-care up a notch by doing calm breathing while you color. And also, if you think about things that make you grateful while you color … or something you’ve done today that you feel good about … you reinforce yourself with positive, stress relieving reaffirmation. And all of this, you dear lovely heart, is SO VERY GOOD for you and your happiness and healthiness!

I hope you enjoy your color page today! It’s totally FREE and on me.

Ready to take my Arting It Up for Happiness and Healthiness: Color Me Happier 7 Day Challenge?

Each day support your healthiness with feeling less stress, less anxiety, more happiness and more positivity!

Easy, fun, happy, silly, adorable, and totally supporting you!

7 days of Love and Big Hugs!

Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!

11 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven happier and healthier promoting strategies:

Smile-making, positivity-promoting, happy coloring blocks
Gratitude Acknowledgements
Self-acknowledgement Reaffirmations
Includes “how to get the most out of this challenge” intro page & a summary reflection page

You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!

Get Your POSitude On!

Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!

Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!

Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!

I’m so happy you are here! You make my day brighter, and I thank you for your love and totally PINK hearts and smiles!!! Wishing you a delightful day filled with kindness and hope!!!

Love and Big Hugs,

How the kindness of others saved my life …

How kindness saved my life Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs

Sweet wonderful love muffins,

You know that person in your life – the one who makes one bad decision after the next? Maybe it’s her continual bad choices in relationships. Or how she keeps screwing up jobs. Or whatever it is that makes you shake your head.

That something – or even, somethings – whatever it is, her life seems to be on a downward spiral of going absolutely nowhere but bad, and she seems like a total lost cause. I was once her. And the kindness of others saved my life. And changed my life for the better.

When we see someone making what we think are poor choices, I know how easy it can be to write them off as not worth our time, or that they are lost forever, or any other multitude of unhelpful conclusions. But as someone who was once there, I’d like to offer another explanation. One that is filled with hope and positive possibility.

Let me paint the picture with a few, quick, relevant details. Me, in my late teens. A recovering runaway who took night school to be able to graduate at 16, so I could move out on my own and get away from the emotional devastation that my family called home. I worked as many hours as I could at my 3 part-time jobs, so that I could keep a roof over my head. Sometimes I had enough for electricity, heat, and food, and sometimes I didn’t.

For onlookers, I was struggling and unstable. Oftentimes, cold and hungry. I’m not sure if anyone saw how hard I was trying, but in reflection, I think at least some did.

For me, I wasn’t trying to make poor choices. I was trying to make my life better, and I didn’t have a good first clue how to do it, except that I needed to stay on my feet and not “go back home.” That place was hell, and I’d enough.

This time in my life became a learning, growing phase that came with significant bumps and bruises, but somehow, somewhere in me, I found a resilient determination to be hopeful and not to give up.

I had very little to no self-confidence or self-esteem. I hadn’t figured out how to take care of myself. And the lack of love in my life, made me crave emotional connection to the point of self-destruction. Guys were my downfall. And I was an easy target.

So with that picture, let me just say, It’s the person who stops trying that is a true sadness and loss. The ones who give up and get stuck in the mire. It could have happened to me, and if it had, I’m certain I would’ve never accomplished all that I have. Or be able to give all that I do.

What made the difference? I promise you: the kindness of others.

Patience. A shoulder to cry on. An ear to listen. Time to give. A hug to hold. Words of encouragement and wisdom to share. Simply making time to care. Being a positive role model. And peanut butter sandwiches.

It was the benevolent presences in my life that kept me going and learning, getting better, and never giving up.

A few quick notes about being a benevolent presence, should someone in your life need you.

It’s not your job nor your responsibility to fix this person. They have to do that themselves.
Your help, your kindness, your benevolence will not likely be “the thing” that finally set this person off on the “right track.” Although it might just be. But more likely, it’s part of a series of people and kindnesses over time that gives this person the support and springboard to grow forward and past the struggle they are swimming in.

My heart is filled with bottomless thanks and gratitude for every person who was there for me every time I needed it, even when I was exhausting and seemingly hopeless. These wonderful people saved my life. Their support was vital in giving me space and time to grow my confidence bit by bit, until I felt strong enough to keep going on my own.

An important note on sympathy:

Along the way, I came across people who weren’t really kind or helpful. They looked at me with eyes and words of sympathy, and I quickly learned to hate it. The words of “poor you” weren’t compassionate, nor caring. Just a passing pity for the lost cause and helpless situation that to them I had become. I got a fair share of this as well in my journey. And luckily for me, I had that resilient determination thing going. I learned that pity isn’t caring, and I wanted to be a person that was cared for, not dismissed on a heavy sigh. I wanted to grow myself into a person who wasn’t pitiable.

I suspect that not all who are desperately trying to find and grow themselves will respond with such a positive outcome as I did to the sympathetic pity.

So if I may, please be careful of these emotions around people in need. Choose to care. Give precious moments of your time and your heart. And if the person who is in need has exhausted you beyond any more care you have to give (Let’s be real, it can happen. Finding oneself can take a really long time.), then do what you can to guide them to the next bright light post and wish them well, letting them move forward surrounded by your positive, loving light.

Remember, it’s not your job to fix them. You’re a moment of kindness and love to them on their journey toward their wellness. It’s not helpful to either of you should their need become toxic to you both.

Okay, so let me give you some of the concrete examples of kindness I received during the particularly difficult time in my life that was my mid- to late teens. Some are big, but most are small to medium. All made a vital difference!

One of the benefits of being so broke was that I got to take a few courses at the local community college for free. This was AWESOME, because it gave me a weather-controlled, safe environment to spend time in; safe people to be around; and an opportunity to learn and grow myself.

At this community college, I can give you a number of examples of life-helping and –altering kindness … here are just a few I remember especially and fondly:

I’d go to office hours for help in one of my classes, and the professor must’ve noticed I wasn’t likely eating much, because every time I went, she would quietly get out her peanut butter and bread and an apple “to eat her lunch,” and she’d always make sure I ate, too. It wasn’t unusual for that to be the only meal I got that day.
In a pottery lab I learned in, there was a bunch of artistic guys making the most amazing pottery I’d ever seen. The guys ranged in ages and dispositions. I was the only girl. And instead of ganging up on me and taking advantage of the situation (as I usually experienced with my low self-confidence and -esteem), they created a safe space for me. They would talk to me and encourage me (even though my skills were pitiful, and I spent most of my time making little teddy bears and animals made of clay balls, lol.). And I remember one of the guys in particular. He was in his mid 30’s to my 17 yrs, and he actively listened to me, and listened to me, and listened to me even more. He never judged. He gave me life encouragements, and made me feel heard and important enough to warrant his time. And never, ever did he make an inappropriate advance.
Every Thursday night that he could afford, a friend from childhood would bring me a fast food sandwich of some sort. Again, someone making sure I got some food.
And there was another older guy in a another class, a recovering alcoholic who must’ve seen the signs of trouble in my life, because he also provided a safe space for me, never being inappropriate. And he taught me the mind-healing benefits of “the drive.” A cathartic time spent being quiet and reflecting while driving along less-traveled, winding roads. He would take me out for drives, and we would just be quiet and reflect and heal.

And there’s just one more example I’ll share for now, but it came about a year before this community college time. It happened in the highly turbulent part of my life and aftermath following my running away from home (like for realz, on the streets, cold, wet, hungry, no shelter, no safety, for an extended period of time kind of running away). The events that led up to this running away are complex and filled with SO MUCH emotional loss and desperation that spun out of control after the family trauma when I was 9. I won’t get into all of that now. But what I will say is that 2 things of significant, lifesaving importance occurred just a few critical months later.

The first is an aunt and uncle stepped up and took me in for a summer. It was a difficult summer for all, but I had a safe space, was cared for, and was shown the “bizarre” behavior of people in love being affectionate and doing “crazy” things like holding hands. I’d never seen anything like it. And I can tell you … AWKWARD … when they tried hugging me. But it laid the foundation for loving behavior that I would later in life, in my own relationships, seek out.
And the second, their adult son, my cousin … he gave me words and encouragement that has saved my life, literally, multiple times. One day, while doing yard work together, I was talking about my problems, and he must’ve sensed I was contemplating giving up (That’s my nice way of saying, I was seriously considering killing myself … heavy, right?! I know. It sucked.) But he said, “If this is it. If this is rock bottom, then you just need to hang on tight here for little bit, because you’ve got nowhere else to go but up. Just hang on.” For me, this worked. And I’m so very grateful.

The life I’ve grown into has given me the opportunity to be there for so many others. And to experience so much love and happiness … I could’ve never imagined it, but it has happened, and my heart is BIG with it!

All I’m saying here is that it doesn’t make much to be kind. Be an ear, be a shoulder, listen, care, give a hug, make a sandwich, be a positive role model, or simply be a safe, non-judgmental place to be. Let the love in your heart grow and share it!

Every day, acts of kindness and caring (little, small, medium, and big, whatever you can give), these make real, life-impacting differences! You and your kindness are important and needed! And from me to you and to all the people who have been there for me along my way … Thank You so much – I am so grateful for you and for my life!

gratitude invocation Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs

Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs Gratitude Invocation Get Button

Need some Self-Love and Self-Care? Snag your copy of my “Mary Kate’s Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!”

Mary Kate'es Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!

When you find yourself feeling low, negative, unhappy – doubting yourself – maybe your confidence has taken a bit of a tumble & your self-worth is low …

Grab my Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!

You can start feeling better and start smiling again!

Filled with empathetic & supportive Love and Big Hugs!

Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!

14 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven feel better strategies:

Reaffirmations & Positive Self-Talk
Gratitude Acknowledgements
Smiling POSitudes
Additional supporting ideas to help you find your calm and happiness again through self-care and self-love
Bonus Love-You Supports and Resources section

MKs Be Kind to You Interactive Self Care Love Letter to You Get Now button

You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!

Get Your POSitude On!

Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!

Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!

Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!

Thank you for being here with me! May your day bring you heartwarming goodness and be filled with positive energy!!!

Love and Big Hugs,

What to do when life falls down hard on you …

15 Habits for Happy Healthiness Mary Kate Kopec Love and Big Hugs

A beautiful blossom emailed me the other day. She told me she is going through some things, and that there isn’t anything she can do about it.

It truly sucks when life falls on you like this. It happens. It’s usually hard, seriously unfun, and oftentimes, it leaves us feeling terribly isolated, anxious, and depressed when it does.

So that’s what I want to talk to you about today. What in the world you can do when life falls on you, and the circumstances aren’t in your control? How can you feel better?

Spoiler alert … what can you do when life falls down hard on you? … you can take care of you … lemme explain …

How does taking care of you help?

When life gets hard, our survival mode usually kicks in, and our stress levels go up. If this life-falling event has a chronic, persistent flair to it – and it seems like it’s never going to end – our increasing stress levels can teach us how to ride a new, elevated baseline, which is great for coping. But for our long term health (mental, physical, emotional, … all of it) … it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!!!!!

These stress levels attack our bodies through the increase of a hormone called cortisol. Cortisol is produced by your adrenals, which are little organs sitting on top of your kidneys. It can be fatiguing to your adrenals to be on the constant alert like this. And the long story short = stress leads to inflammation, and inflammation leads to unwellness, even disease.

So. Life happens. And when it happens hard and persistently, we can get hit with a double whammy. Not only do we have to deal with whatever the unpleasantness of the moment/time is, it can lead to physical illness, and that just ain’t good!

Sooooo. When you can’t fix life – when you are trying to cope and waiting for all the pieces to come together and get righted – this is most definitely the time for you to invoke your right to self-care! And then to make time for it! This is a something that you can definitely do!

And only you can do this.

Plus you get to decide how much time you give yourself. Balancing you against all of your commitments (family, work, household stuff … whatever your long list is that I know is calling you) … this balance is definitely a challenge. But you are important! You are worth your time! And the good news is that you can even start small and work your way up.

Let’s hit some highlights:

There’s basic biology.

You can eat nutritious food. Grab a banana, an apple, a can of sustainable, wild-life-safe, wild-caught tuna. Add a bag of frozen blueberries to your next bowl of oatmeal. Nutrient-dense food helps your body heal and decrease inflammation.

Drink your water. That whole 8 glasses of water a day is a real thing. It helps you keep your electrolytes balanced and to flush out toxins. This helps you to heal and to decrease inflammation. Plus, insufficient water can, among many things, give you headaches and make you feel hungry. And you don’t need that on top of everything else!

Get enough sleep. Sleep is rest. Rest heals you. You must sleep, my beautiful love muffin. It’s so important!!!

Get some exercise. Walk. Run. Ride a bike. Punch a punching bag. Do some yoga. Get your blood flowing; help your body breathe and nourish itself. Studies show yoga changes your brain chemistry – it helps to regulate nerve activity and reduces stress levels. It can induce a feeling of calm. This is helpful and so very good! Even 10 minutes a day is better than no minutes a day. Help yourself feel better!

Take an intentional, calming breath every day. Even if you only have a moment. You’re in your car sitting at a stop light. An elevator. Standing in the shower. … Take a moment. Close your eyes. Inhale deeply for a count of 4 to 7, hold it for 4 to 7, and then exhale slowly for 4 to 7. This breath is just for you. It’s your moment. Your time. Your healing. Let calm wash over you and hold you.

There’s positive energy reinforcements.

Practice POSitude. Think, focus, and act on positive thoughts.

Reaffirmations. Talk to yourself with positivity. You can do this! You will heal! You are worth your time! You are worth your love! You are wonderful and have so much to share and love!

Practice gratitude. Tell yourself every day at least one thing you are grateful for. The more heartfelt and genuine your gratitude, the more healing and calm it will bring you.

Smiling. Seriously … it helps! Smiling makes you feel better. Add in some positive self-talk, gratitude, calming breathing … it’s a formula for feel better.

Color or create something. Creative energies exercised change your thinking, reduce your stress and anxiety, and increase your calm. I recommend coloring with your favorite colors!!! This helps me tremendously!

Journal. Write it out. Get those thoughts racing around in your head out of your head. Write them down on paper. Acknowledge them. Acknowledge any limitation or frustration you feel. If any actionable thoughts come to mind, write them down and figure out a way to do them if it will help you cope or solve your problems. Write out your feelings about what’s happening. And remind yourself your feelings are 100% valid. You can’t control everything, but you can focus on what you can do. And you can love yourself for coping through this challenge.

Laugh! Laugh out loud. Watch something funny. Read a joke. But laugh heartily. Every day!

Connect with a loved one! Get a hug! Share a moment. Have a cup of herbal tea with a friend. Go for a walk together and be there for each other. Connect, love, and hug!!!!

Love yourself! Think of something you do well. Be genuine and heartfelt. Focus on this something and love yourself for it!

All of these are shown to change your brain chemistry and to help you to feel better. Happier. Even if only for the moment. You are still helping you to cope, heal, and reduce your stress. And this is helping you to keep healthy.

And one last, super helpful thing.

Surround yourself with love and support, with people who will bring you up, and help you walk forward through this difficult time! Good people – special family and friends – in your life can most definitely make all the difference in the world!

And in the times when you feel yourself not coping as well as you need, reach out for help. Get the help you need! Talk to your doctor, therapist, counselor, spiritual advisor, life coach … someone who can dig the extra deep with you to get you past this hump. Get the care and love and help and big hugs you need!

When life falls down hard on you and you feel like there’s nothing you can do, know that you CAN do something.

You can take care of you!

Self-care and self-love are vital – and these give you something helpful to focus on. It gives you actionables, and getting things done helps us to feel productive and useful. And the actionables I’ve shared above will also help you be happier and healthier, so you are getting so much bang for your taking-care-of-you bucks!

Every day, I remind myself: Focus on what you can do!

What can you do when life tackles you? You can self-care and self-love!!! Certainly, these may not make the life beat down you are getting go away any faster, but they will help you to cope better and stay healthier while you are dealing with it … and that’s just gotta be a good thing!

Want to dig even deeper into your Self-Care? Snag your copy of my “Mary Kate’s Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!”

When you find yourself feeling low, negative, unhappy – doubting yourself – maybe your confidence has taken a bit of a tumble & your self-worth is low …

Grab my Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!

You can start feeling better and start smiling again!

Filled with empathetic & supportive Love and Big Hugs!

Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!

14 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven feel better strategies:

Reaffirmations & Positive Self-Talk
Gratitude Acknowledgements
Smiling POSitudes
Additional supporting ideas to help you find your calm and happiness again through self-care and self-love
Bonus Love-You Supports and Resources section

You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!

Get Your POSitude On!

Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!

Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!

Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!

Thank you for being here with me! May your day bring you heartwarming goodness and be filled with positive energy!!!

Love and Big Hugs,

Rewriting My Story …

Love and Big Hugs Mary Kate is rewriting her story

Rewriting my story …

My life has changed forever – it’s not the first time this has happened, nor will it likely be the last. But this time, the change is more than usually significant. This is one of those leaps and bounds times! And it took me totally by surprise.

So many changes …

My life. My health. … Me.

I never imagined in a million years that I would be physically debilitated in my 40’s. I also thought I knew me. Really knew me. And I did. (I’m a hugely introspective and self-reflective person bent on always growing myself to be my best self.) But what I want … what I value … how I want to spend the good hours that I get … who I want to be … and how I want to be in this world and in my life … has changed.

There is goodness to love in this change …

What do I want – what’s important to me?

What I want and value are the same things. Happiness, healthiness, love, laughter, positive relationships, gratitude, positivity, being authentic and genuine, PINK (lol, for those of you who know me from being an author), to help people, to nurture and empower growth and development, to not be afraid so much, to help the earth support life for far longer than is currently projected … These are at the top of my list, and efforts to build them influence my decisions and nourish my life with my honeybun, Pauli.

Who do I want to be, how do I want to be in the world, and how do I want to spend my good hours?

Career/work-wise, I’ve been a lot of things over the years: A scientist. Educator. Mentor. Motivational and inspirational speaker. Pre-health careers success coach. And author.

Naturally, all of these have grown me into who I am and what I’m capable of sharing now. And this is exciting to me! I’ve never been more ready to be me than I am now!

Accomplishments + Personality + Values + Life Challenges + Life Lessons Learned = My focus and my purpose!

This newly refined and defined focus and purpose has been baking like a delicious chocolate cake inside me for a while now. And about a month ago, the oven timer dinged with absolute clarity. I was talking to Pauli out on the couch. And I was telling him, “I know to my core I want to be love in this world. I want to share love. I want to help people be happy and healthy and have goodness in their lives. I want them to feel my love and my big hugs!” I stopped and beamed at him, “I want to be the ripple!”

He beamed back, “Then that’s what you should do – be the ripple!”

So that’s what this change is all about. It’s about being the ripple. Me sharing my love and big hugs with you. Sharing happiness and healthier living. Helping you to feel, build, and grow everything I value in my heart and have to share with you, so you can have happiness and healthier living in your own life.

And if for a second you are sitting there shaking your head thinking thoughts like, “Mary Kate, happiness is for other people, not me. I can’t be happy.” Or, “Healthy living is hard. Expensive. I can’t make it happen.” Or, “Mary Kate, you’re lucky. But my life is hard. It doesn’t come with happiness.” Or anything else like these thoughts, then let me just say …

Firstly, I can’t tell you everything about me all in one post … but I can tell you this: My life isn’t peaches and cream, or oh so happy go lucky.

I wasn’t born knowing how to be happy or how to live healthily.

I’ve come through my own personal hell to get here: emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, … zero self-respect, zero self-confidence, zero self-esteem, and fully well slamming into rock bottom with terminal velocity (more than once). And I still face challenges all of the time. I’m human. Life happens. But in my human imperfection, I am trying, and I choose happiness and to live as healthily as I can, and I am learning and growing and finding ways to nurture these into my life.

I invite you to choose them, too! Choose them with me. Be the ripple, first for you, and then for those you love around you!

And for being here and choosing to be the ripple with me, I have an empowering GIFT to share!

When you find yourself feeling low, negative, unhappy – doubting yourself – maybe your confidence has taken a bit of a tumble & your self-worth is low …

Grab my Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!

You can start feeling better and start smiling again!

Filled with empathetic & supportive Love and Big Hugs!

Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!

14 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven feel better strategies:

Reaffirmations & Positive Self-Talk
Gratitude Acknowledgements
Smiling POSitudes
Additional supporting ideas to help you find your calm and happiness again through self-care and self-love
Bonus Love-You Supports and Resources section

You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!

Get Your POSitude On!

Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!

Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!

Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!

Thank you for being here with me! May your day bring you heartwarming goodness and be filled with positive energy!!!

Love and Big Hugs,