personal growth - marykatekopec.com

Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs. Happiness during a pandemic.

Happiness during the pandemic?

Hello Beautiful Blossom! Is happiness during the pandemic possible?

The question at hand: Can you have happiness during the pandemic? Is it possible? Or happiness during any difficult life change for that matter … is it possible?

I think so.

Honestly.

It’s not always easy … at first, especially … but it’s possible!

And I’m going to share with you how I found happiness during the pandemic and other difficult times in my life in hopes my experiences can help you find new joys and feel better … super soon!

Right up front, I want to reassure you, I’m not talking oversimplified, fluffed-up B.S. here. I’m not going to tell you some overly positive, unrealistic, useless crap.

I’m going to give you concrete, reality-based, helpful insight to help you!

Concrete, Reality-based, Helpful Insight

Let’s start with acknowledging how hard living can be in unusual times. Be it a pandemic. Leaving behind all that you know to have to start over in a new place. Unexpected career change. Or how about a change in relationship status?

When we’ve been living life as we see it, happily, and to suddenly get uprooted and lose the familiar, the comfort, the safety, the security, or whatever was making us happy … when we lose what we are used to … it can be very unsettling … and very upsetting.

Yet …

There’s something to be said for breaking routine … getting out of your comfort zone … trying something new. … Hang with me here … give me a second to show you where I’m going with this.

When we do the same things over and over, day after day, our chances to face new challenges diminish.

We can stunt our own growth. Our readiness to adapt can fade.

Think of it as Use It or Lose It.

Personal MK Short Story Time with Big Time Enlightening Insight

About five years ago, I was at the peak of my chronic fatigue/lethargy/muscle weakness challenges. I spent most of every day and every night in bed. Sometimes sleeping for up to 21 hours at a time, to wake up for 3 hours, and then find myself fully spent and going right back to bed.

Adding to this, my honeybun and I were living in Philly for Honeybun’s work … far away from home … and very different from our nature-y, Midwest life in Michigan.

It was a depressing and difficult time.

We lived for my “good days/moments!” But when we got them, all the things we would normally do for fun and happiness weren’t there. The life we loved was left back in Michigan, and we felt stuck.

There came a day when I was Skyping (old school to today’s Zoom) with a friend, and I was telling her about my woeful concerns and challenges, and she replied with the most amazing, supportive, but assertive words ever!

“Well, if you can’t rebuild your Michigan life in Philly, then find new Philly things. Try that and see if you can build new happiness.”

How Did I NOT See that?

Wuuuuuut????

How simple. And so obvious.

How had I not been able to just see it? How I had not been able to just ask myself that question?

It was being stuck IN the moment, not being able to see such a straightforward solution.

It’s like when you can’t see forest for the trees.

Sometimes you just need a fresh perspective. An outside eye. Someone else independent of your view … the look of someone on the outside looking in to see what you can’t or don’t.

It was one of those conversational lightbulb moments that comes with the opportunity to heal and grow!

Since honeybun and I both had latent loves for photography and nature, we chatted and did some research, and before you know it, we were both geared up with digital cameras and a list of nearby gardens to visit. And next good day, we bolted out the door with excitement! This has led to new, cool friends and sustained life goodness!

Applying what I learned … turned into pandemic readiness!

So fast-forward to the early days of the pandemic and all the shutdowns and isolations.

I was ready.

I knew the drill.

Instead of getting lost in the depression of losing life as we knew it or our way of living … we just created new pandemic-life things to do for us.

Even as the pandemic has dragged on ruthlessly and unkindly … we have continued to grow new ideas and activities into our days.

I still have debilitating health challenges. It’s a dangerous world out there for me. So isolation is really our best plan.

But isolation is so … lonely … and potentially disconnected.

True.

But with the pandemic came Zoom. I immediately sought out connectivity via Zoom. I rethought my plans and grew in happy activities I could do in the safety of our space. And when our little spot in the universe (Starry Cottage was finally built and ready for living), we dug in and have created happy spaces throughout our home to support a healthy, active, engaging, fun life … even in the pandemic.

Now, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you pandemic living is awesome. Pandemic living has a big ol’ SUCKS!!!!!!! attached to it.

Do we miss getting out and playing in nature not just in our backyard? Hells yes.

Do we miss seeing our peeps in person? Yessssssssssssssss.

Do we miss the living freedoms we had before the pandemic hit? Hells to the yes a million times over and over.

We even miss the simplicity of going shopping without being afraid for my life. As such, I’ve not been inside a store, grocery or otherwise, in nearly 2 years.

But like living in Philly. It wasn’t about rebuilding the life we had in MI. That was impossible. (The places, people, nature, and opportunities are all different … plus, our friends and family were all back home, plus, Philly is WAY more expensive!!!)

It was about building a new life filled with happiness in a space we had to be in – Philly.

What we’re really talking about here …

And that’s where we are today. It’s not about building a permanent pandemic life – hopefully (and if so, we’ll cross that bridge when it gets here). It’s about adapting and coping and growing.

And the truth of it is … with these challenges, when you seek to find the happinesses that will help you manage the challenge you face … you can grow new goodnesses into your life.

Philly forever gave us photography (and new friendships)! And I also learned how to digi-doodle and art! And how to video call.

All of these have been amazing helps during the pandemic!

Like Philly, the pandemic has given me gifts of happy growth as well!

The pandemic has given me the opportunity to grow my wellness through yoga (thank the stars for Yoga With Adriene!!!) and learning and growing an anti-inflammatory life (foods and activities for healthy, happy wellness).

I am a better, happier person!

I’ve met some amazing people in faraway places like Australia and the UK, and even way up in Canada … people, that sans pandemic, there would never have been a need, an impetus, to reach out to and grow into my life.
I have substantially grown my digi-doodling and digi-arting capabilities! I lose myself in my creating space … and my creative expression flows out of me with silly happiness!
I enjoy watching Bog TV (we have about an acre of nature behind our backyard to just sit and watch the trees, furry and flying and crawling creatures, the cattails flourishing in the bog, the ever changing sky, the stars … all of it) – being mindful and present, and sharing time with my honeybun.
I have found a bit of me that I never knew was there, and I’m getting to know this new me … and loving her! I’m way PINKer than I ever knew. I’ve always been a lover and a helper, but I’ve found my light amongst the stars and here on earth. I’m feeling a bubbling excitement that’s new and fun. It’s making me smile bigger and brighter. I LOVE this feeling!!!

So does living in pandemic times have a tremendous suck factor? Sure.

But does that have to be all it is? NO!

Can it be better than missing the way life used to be? OHMIGOSH, YEEEEEESSSSS!

It’s Your Turn!!!

So let’s get you up outta that stuck rut! Let’s get you finding your new happy things!

Let’s get you past waiting for happiness to come back to you in “life as it was” returned.

Honestly … there’s real truth in the statement, “There’s no going back.” Or “you can’t go back.” There’s no going back and you can’t go back, because that moment is gone forever. You are in a new moment. You are in a new time. With new things.

Life will never be the same as it was before.

It’s basic logic.
Basic fact.
We’ve seen too many new things and experienced too many new experiences.
Life and its gifts and challenges continue to roll at us.

We grow. We change. We evolve.

Or we stay stuck, lamenting. Disappointed. Unhappy.

Let’s grow you, blossom!

You are beautiful! You have so much happiness and goodness inside of you! What is that thing? Or things you’ve always wanted to try? Or do? Which one or ones will work for you in this moment of time?

Let’s help you let go of a life gone and blossom in your new life!

Your Happiness During Hard Times (the pandemic) Checklist!

I hope sharing my experience has given you insight into possibilities for your life. Sparked ideas for you that will help you grow happiness into your days, no matter where you are or what big shiz is happening out in the world.

In summary:

Don’t wait around for the “the way it was” … it’s not coming back. It can’t. You’re a different person now than you were then … life changes us … so even if you could go back, it still wouldn’t be the same, cuz you’re not the same.
- Accept that your life and life around you is moving forward.
Ask yourself, “What new thing or things can you grow into your life that work for you now?”
Find and create ways to grow these things into your life.
Grow forward.
- Let go of the past.
- Love the parts of the past that were wonderful.
- Appreciate the parts of your past that helped you grow and be a better you … a more defined you … a you with interests and ideas and abilities.
- Give gratitude for all the parts of the past … even the hard ones.
  - They have helped shaped you into the person you are today with your current strengths and gifts and love to share!
- Give gratitude for having a today to live and find and grow a happier, healthier you!

Well, Blossom, I give gratitude for any and all the help this sharing gifts you with! (I’m hoping it’s lots and lots!!!!)

You are beautiful! You are precious! You are loved!

Give yourself the time you need to love you!!!

Thank you for sharing this time with me!!! Hugging you so big!

Journaling. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs.

Journaling for You!

Dear Sweet Blossoms!

Today, let’s talk journaling!!! And before you potentially click outta here, like journaling ain’t yo’ thang … hang tight for just a sec.

Lemme share with you some awesomeness I’ve experienced from journaling … along with the things that didn’t work for me and the why’s of that.

Because, honestly, journaling – when you do you – can be SO HELPFUL, and SO HEALTHY!

For me, my journal is what I make of it, and I make it what I need and want:

Reaffirmation
Positivity
Support
Reflection
Goal creation
Action planning
A place to think
A place get “it” out and let “it” go
Loving, gentle reminders
Bright, colorful, happiness to greet me
An opportunity to create
Wisdom I’ve gained
Information I need
Dreamboarding
Anything and everything that serves me in growing my wellness and happiness

Here are some of the actual pages from my journal:

Journaling Don’ts

Many, many, many moons ago, I used to journal – like a diary. And then my boyfriend at the time “just happened to glance over and accidentally read some it.”

Uncool, dude. Uncool.

Also, back then, I tried writing every day. Cuz that’s what you do in a diary, right? You’re faithful with your self-reporting, and you …, and NO, this did not work for me. I’d get busy and forget a day, then feel guilty. A week would go by, and I would sit down and try to remember each day and write it out.

Uh. I’m not gonna be a slave to my own good intention. That defeats the purpose.

So lessons learned of what NOT to do:

Don’t write down anything you don’t want other people “accidentally” reading, or keep your journal locked up. Personally, I still write down anything and everything I need to get out of my system. I am, thankfully, now in a relationship filled with openness and trust. I share everything with my honeybun. But what about all those other pesky people living in the world? You never know when one of them might just be snooping around your room … lol. In short, anything I feel should be just between me and the universe gets a flame ride into the heavens after I’ve given “it” the time I need to process it, learn from it, and let it go.
Don’t make your journal anything other than what serves you … what fuels you … what helps you feel well, healthy, and whatever other goodness you seek. In short, don’t journal like other people tell you to journal.

Journaling Do’s

It’s taken me time … learning what works for me, and then giving that to myself, to be able to create a journal space that nourishes and nurtures me – mind, body, soul, light, love, & spirit.

One of the things I’ve done in recent years is to go paperless. I hope to reduce my footprint and consumption. So I’ve become a digi-doodler, digi-everything. And my journal is no exception.

In fact, until the pandemic started and my health took a super nosedive into the unknown, I hadn’t been journaling for a while. But with everything going haywire (my health, and the health of the world around me), I needed a healing space … BIG TIME. A resource of positivity to guide me and lift me up especially on my dark days.

I found creating a digi-journal to be incredibly exactly what I needed. And the cool thing is, I have it downloaded into my Books on my phone, so I can have it with me whenever and wherever I need it. (Being on my phone, and being digital, I simply update it when I have things I need/want to add/process/share, and then I download the updated version … easy and saaaweeeet!)

My suggestions for what To Do when creating your journal:

Be kind to yourself
Be patient with yourself
Give yourself the space you need to be authentic, honest, open, and there for you
Journal when it serves you – when you feel called to your pages, not when an external expectation/definition would have you journal
When you need to get “it” out, write freely, without thought to grammar, punctuation, “correctness,” etc … just let it rip! Then process it. And then, the ultimate – Let it go!
When you feel the “harsh-ies” toward yourself … you know, you’re telling yourself how much you suck in whatever special way only you can bring yourself down (we all do it) … well, go ahead and write down how much you suck (btw: you don’t suck! not even a little!) … but so, write it down, and then my invitation to you … turn that negative self-talk into a positive in whatever way serves you:
- maybe you give yourself a goal with an action list to accomplish your goal
- maybe you reframe your negative thought into a positive thought
- maybe you see the words for the hurt they cause you, and find a way to love yourself more instead of taking yourself out at the kneecaps with a word/thought bat).
Let your pages heal you, guide you, inform you, light up your day … let your pages bring positivity and wellness into your life
Remember always: Progress, not perfection. (quote: Jill Stante)
Remember always: Nourish to flourish!
Remember always: What can you do to help you and your body cope and heal right now?
Be as creative or uncreative as you want … it’s your journal … it’s your toolkit of healing, love, light … or whatever you need it to be!
Remember: Your journal is your space to be what you need/want it to be.
What inspires you? Do you like to color, write, take photos, etc … how do you like to express yourself and document/witness your life?

Journaling for Reflective, Guiding Purpose!

Before we wrap up the idea of journaling, I want to share with you a specific page outta my journal I recently created.

The other day, I was feeling badly – health-wise – but I wanted to create something positive (for the goodness I could feel in the moment creating something positive, and for the positive of having created something I wanted to share with myself in my journal).

Recently, I’d been looking at scrapbook ideas for I can’t remember what reason, but I came across an image that inspired me. And I thought, I gotta PINK that up in my own doodle-delicious way!

So there I was, feeling badly, wanting to create something positive, wanting to create a journal page, and having a scrapbook inspiration page. So I created this:

Isn’t it just the PINKest, happiest scrapbook page, ever??? LOL.

Everything you see I created. I used doodles and art I’d already created. And I made some new. And I PINKed up my Life Goals list of how I want to live my life/what’s important to me.

And now, it’s in my journal! I can review it whenever I want/need to. I can get high off of the delightful PINK eye-fumes. I smile just looking at it! It serves me.

And so, I share with you an example of what even a single page in your journal can do for you!

Even in the creation of this page, I gifted myself the positive, creative, soothing activity of assembling and playing in my doodle-tastic world. I made a squee page for reflection and guidance, for healing and happiness.

The process was happy healing, and the product nourishes me so I can flourish!

A scrapbook journal page may not be your cup of tea. That’s totally cool. I’m not trying to convince you to scrapbook journal. I’m inviting you to Journal for You! You do you! I just hope my share inspires you with your own ideas of helpful possibilities!

Hugging you the biggest and loving you even more! Hope this writing brings a smile to your face and a hug to your heart … and happy new ideas for making your journal the coolest place ever!!!

Tower Garden by Juice Plus+. Mary Kate Kopec. Love and Big Hugs!

Tag: personal growth

Happiness During the Pandemic?