We are complementary beauties!
But for all the world, you wouldn't know it. Not with how media, culture, our employment, and even our friendships pit us against one another.
I find myself having this conversation with every single one of my beautiful coaching souls. My friends. And I've had this conversation with my therapist. All of us are women ... chicks of big hearts, open minds, ... and feeling the negativity waged against us.
Seems like we're never quite pretty enough, smart enough, do enough, help enough, give enough, go go go enough.
In the media we are told we need to drink more coffee, work out more, squeeze in more time to be better moms, wives, girlfriends, friends ... cook more, clean more, get to work faster. It seems like our clothes are never nice enough. Our houses are never big enough. Our kids will only be happy if we get and buy them everything they want. So ... of course, we're going to need more money ...
If only we would buy that cologne we could all smell sexy and be as beautiful as Charlize Theron, cuz without it, we're just not as good.
You get the idea ... the judgement negativity is everywhere, with the bottom line being, we're never quite good enough if we don't ... do whatever it is they want us to do.
The added sadness and toxic effect of all this negativity is we are trained to embody the criticism and apply it to ourselves and others to see who is getting closer to the "Desired Perfection."
We lose our self-esteem, self-respect, self-love, self-worth. We learn to hate ourselves and the other lovely ladies around us, especially the ones who seem to be doing a better job at being Perfect.
Maybe she's thinner. Maybe her hair is more lustrous. Maybe she seems to be able to do it all. And we loathe her for it.
But really, it's a self-loathing cloaked in negativity toward another person ... because really ... at the bottom of it all, you are not her, and therefore ... clearly you suck. ... Uh ... really? Do you suck?
Lemme answer that for you ... just in case you might be struggling with the answer ... NO!!! You do NOT suck!
You are glorious!!! You are beautiful!!! You have gifts, the likes we'll never see again on this earth!!! You are unique and special!!! You are amazing!!!
You have light so special and so rare, and we are SO FREAKING LUCKY YOU ARE HERE with us!
You bring to us magic! And delight! And wisdom! Lessons learned. Experiences. Strength. Even in your moments of unstrength, your gifts are there, shining through, helping you cope in ways best suited to you. And we learn from you. We grow and flourish in your light. In your unique perspective. In how you see the world and brighten it. And for all that you do for us, we do it for you, too!
For we are strong and beautiful, and together, with our love shining so very brightly, our gifts complement each other making our lives and this world a brighter, more beautiful place to be!
Together, no longer judging ... no longer criticizing, no longer stuck in the negativity structures forced upon us, together in love, kindness, compassion, caring, gratitude-giving ... we see the goodness, the beauty in each other, and we know the truth: