Is there a golden key for unlocking happiness? I think so.
A fellow wellness blogger and friend of mine, Dylan, were having a conversation the other day. We were talking about (trying to figure out why) people seem to ignore or avoid happiness inspiring images and or content (well, beyond that of adorable cute animals doing adorable, cute things).
And Dylan says to me, "In my experience people have a dark side to them, and they feel more comfortable when that is reflected back. Being happy, and doing the actual work to sort out all the background emotions, is hard shit yo. I think a lot of people don't know how."
And my brain blitzed.
Very specifically, the words that resonated and blitzed me are: "Being happy, and doing the actual work to sort out all the background emotions, is hard shit yo. I think a lot of people don't know how."
And my blitz'n reaction is: Do you really have to sort out all the background shiz, first? Life is more layered than that. We can be more. I know, because I am.
People look at me and all my pink and see bubbly happiness and think how lucky I am, or how easy I've got it. ... Beggin' your pardon, but LOL!
My therapist says I suffer multiple-trauma, anxiety, and OCD from all the shiz I've had happen in my life. And I'm working on it all the time ... but it doesn't keep me from living as much as I can in happiness.
Cuz basically, it's like this. I've had a lot of bad happen. (Lots of people have, and you may be one of them.) But I ask myself, do I want to wake up everyday feeling like shiz? Or do I want to wake up each day with hope, love, happiness, laughter, and smiles? (Take a guess which one I pick.)
And that's the golden key ... right there. CHOICE.
I CHOOSE to blossom and grow happiness in my life each day, even if it has to be on top of all the background emotional noise. (Hell, I'll squash all that noise with happiness if I can!)
So lemme first talk about the damage ... I have a visual/real life analogy I think will help a lot. And then I'm going to share with you actual, real actions and things you can choose to do to blossom and grow happiness into your life, too! Like for, free, yo! I'm just going to give you the golden key for free! Cuz ... loves ... we have to share the love and help each other, peeps! We have the AWESOME POWER to blossom and grow so much goodness into our lives and into the world ... we can make our time here on earth a better place to be, and even enjoy it, BIG TIME!
Okay ... So Damage.
Firstly know, we CAN BE HAPPY even while still having damage and hurt.
Here's my analogy:
Getting hurt in life emotionally is like a bad cut on your skin (or whatever degree of bodily damage you'd like to associate to your emotional hurt ... I share the imagery with you here in whatever way works best for you! <Big LOVE>). OK. So bad cut. Something sliced you open. It hurt. It sucked, and likely still does ... cuz no one feels great about getting shizzy stuff happening in their life. ... But the cut (or appropriately sized wound) will heal enough to go on.
And depending on how you treat it, it may heal super great (like almost no scarring evidence remains) or pretty descent (yucky scar). But either way, you're very likely gonna have a scar.
Something interesting I've learned over time ... scars continue to heal with time and care.
I feel this holds true for emotional shiz and scars. For instance, I've had some really bad shiz happen to me. It hurt. It sucked. And my brain/emotions/heart have healed ... enough to go on.
Is there a scar? You betcher buttercups!!! My brain/emotions/heart are covered in scars. But I go on. My shiz doesn't go away, but with time and care (therapy and positive living), I heal a little bit better each day, more and more, all of the time, each and every day.
And that's the point. I'm not fully healed. My damage doesn't disappear just cuz I'm bouncing around in happiness. It's back there. All those scars. And the damage.
But I choose NOT to let all of that (the what happened in the past) keep me from making today a better, happier day (just because I'm not fully healed).
And that's the golden key: CHOICE!
I choose NOT to let all of that (the what happened in the past) keep me from making today a better, happier day. I choose to NOT let it keep me from feeling love now. To laugh and feel delight. To bounce and engage. To enjoy.
And this isn't to say that when I'm in a full blown panic attack, or my OCD is raging that my happiness isn't impacted. Hellz ya, I suffer. I cry. I freak the fiddoodles out.
And that's what my therapy is for. To help me understand me. Understand how I cope. Understand my struggles. Understand how I can make the best beyond what happened. And to know that no matter how much I might want to wish it away at times, the shiz happened ... it was real ... it sucked ... and the damage it caused sucks, but that I am more than the bad moments of my life.
Therapy is there for me to learn and grow coping mechanisms and skills and to have support on shizzy, sucky days/moments.
And then, peeps, I gotta say ... the exact moment I can ... I bounce back all over my happiness ... I get that goodness lit back up. I stoke my lil spark and desire to smile again with every tool I've got in my tool kit! I go big, because the bottom line for me is ... suffering and feeling like downed, depressed, sad shiz sucks, and I hate that feeling enough to do something about it.
I hate that feeling bad enough to CHOOSE happiness!
So with that little pep talk, which I actually hope has helped you and even inspired you ... let's talk steps and actions! Let's talk about what you can do to blossom and grow happiness into your life!
Enough Pep Talking ... Let's Talk What You Can Do to Blossom and Grow This Happiness Stuff Into Your Life!
- Believe you can be happy. Cuz you can be. You have to choose it. You have to blossom it. You have to grow it!
- Practice POSitude ... which means to think, focus, & act on positive thoughts. (Stop focusing on all the hurt and damage ... it's there, but it doesn't need to rob you of the rest of your life. Let it be there, and heal it as you grow.)
- Practice Reaffirmations ... Tell yourself nice things about you ... Like how precious and beautiful and rare you are ... and how much we need you to light up this world with your goodness!
- Practice Gratitude ... What is something you can be grateful for today? Think about that and focus on it. It will help you feel better!!!
- Uh, this one's going to sound too easy, but it's for real and proven ... So ... SMILE, BIG & BRIGHT. Just do it. Like, even, right now. Just smile and think a happy thought ... and ohmigoodness ... it will release happy chemicals in your brain and actually help you feel happier right this moment!!!
- Laugh out Loud! Go watch something funny. Tell yourself jokes. Hell, just like smiling, just start laughing out loud ... cuz it, uh, works!!!
- Cut the shizzy people outta yo life! Or at least reduce their presence as much as you can. Their toxicity is eating you ... and you are worth more and better ... you deserve NOT to have them treat you like crap. So adios toxicos!
- And on the note of #7, instead, surround yourself with Love & Support! People who want to be blossom and grow happiness like you. Like minded people with similar goals are much better at supporting one another.
- Connect with, love, & hug someone special today ... even if it's "only" you. You are amazing and wonderful ... and you are the person you will spend the most time with in your life ... so find someone or find you ... and connect, love, & hug, big time!!!!
- This last one is really a summary quickie of a bunch of wellness steps that help you feel better overall, so use at will: eat something nutritious, hydrate, rest/sleep well, get movement into your body, take a calming and intentional breath, journal, create or color something, be kind to you, ... breathe!
And that my beautiful, bright stars is how you, too, can blossom and grow happiness into your life!
Does it take a little bit of work? Sure. But so does holding onto all that anger. All that hurt. All that frustration.
You will put effort into whatever you do ... so you get to choose. Will you put your effort into blossoming and growing happiness?
I hope so! Because I truly believe you are beautiful! You are special and unique. And we'll never have the gift of your bright light again! So I really hope I can help you feel better and feel happiness and wellness! Because I love you!