As my recent round of students are finding their way from my coaching into their new academic and life futures, I created a list of life nuggets I've gained to hopefully help guide them as they navigate life.
They loved what I shared so much and suggested I pass it on, just in case it helps more than just them. So by request, here are some of my meaningful nuggets. I hope they find you with the love, peace, calm, wellness, happiness, and goodness in my heart and with the positivity of intent I hope for. Hugging you so big, and loving you even bigger!!!
Always make sure your car has good hiking boots! Good treads saves lives, people!!!
Protect your Love: do a project with your proposed human. Learn how you think and process information differently. Learn how you communicate. Learn what your strengths and weaknesses are while working together to achieve a shared goal. This knowledge and insight will help you direct your growth together, and it will help you understand each other as you take on the shared goal of living a life together [one of the biggest projects out there!].
Choose to grow your wellness by focusing on anti-inflammatory foods and activities. (Vegan and vegetarian diets have been linked to harder peri-menopause and menopause experiences. Which doesn’t mean go hog wild eating meats all the time. Eat high quality, nutritious foods, hydrate, rest, get movement into your body, and make time to rest and recuperate.)
Calorie and iron load the week before your monster. Your body is about to perform surgery on itself without your permission and without caring about all the stuff on your list of things to do. NOURISH big time. Prepare. Help your body cope and heal. Give yourself what you need to navigate the biological upheaval known as your “period.”
Be kind to yourself – self-care. The lists, the to-do’s, … we’re industrious, productive, multi-tasking, trying-to-get-the-most-outta-life women. Everything we have to do will be there, always, for as long as you keep adding to the list. But remember, you’ll only get as far as your body will take you, and although it may feel like you can keep pushing yourself without a break, your body is keeping score towards your depletion, and your body will drop your ass without asking and without apology. The thing is, when this happens, you then have to heal and recuperate, and who knows how long that will take. But it will take long enough to mess up your plans, lists, and to-do’s. So learn to be kind to you. To self-care. To value you. To care about you and what your body, mind, and soul needs to keep being your awesome self. To live your life in a more loving, caring, nurturing way. And build this into your life. Because you are important. Because you are worthy.
Yoga! Move yo’ body.
Make friends with loving, supportive, caring people and invest in these relationships. Your life will be the richest it possibly can be when it is filled with the love and goodness of good people being there for you, sharing time with you, witnessing you!
Wedding planning tips:
- Consider “unity” seating instead of a bride and groom side. After all, your guests have come to support you as a couple, not to take sides.
- Consider only inviting people you know in your heart will be in your life 10 years from now. After all, your wedding is a day/moment to celebrate the joining of 2 people and 2 lives into 1 couple sharing a life together. If a potential guest won’t be in your lives 10 years from now, why is it important for them to be there to witness and celebrate your union?
- Consider your wedding day for what it is, a celebration of you and your love muffin joining together, committing to each other, and choosing to undertake the big ol’ project of living life together, no matter what happens, no matter how hard it gets, sharing in the absolute joys of good times, and holding each other especially tight in the challenging times. Your wedding day is not a party for other people. It’s not a reason to drink to excess. It’s a celebration of your love and your commitments to each other. It is the very definition of joy, happiness, love, and goodness. It’s VERY personal. You should only be surrounded by love, light, support, and happiness!
- Consider ensuring your shared day reflects each of you equally. Imagine what that looks like and plan for that. Have conversations. Be together. Start off in equality, and live in it for life!
Reflection with attention to your lessons learned, values, self-knowledge, and the “why’s” of reason beyond simple answers is the key to your forward growth and happy, healthy future. If you allow your past to be an unchecked compass for your future, you’ll very likely find yourself unfulfilled, unhappy, … waiting.
Choose you and be your own best friend, for there is no one you will ever spend more time with in your life!
Know that wellness, peace, calm, happiness, kindness, gratitude, love, and light are yours for the creating … if you are willing to value you, love you, be kind to you, and have patience with yourself!
Live a meaningful life … meaning … let it mean something to you. Envision you in your future and look back … what have you accomplished, grown, achieved, become that makes you feel good and worthy? Whatever that is, it’s your meaningful life, and it’s waiting for you. (psst … also, um, quick note … as you live and grow and learn, this idea, this notion, this “what it takes to live a meaningful life” can and will likely change. It’s okay. You’ll adapt and adjust and keep on growing, learning, and living. You’ve got this! In short:
- Find you. Live life. Gain experiences. Grow. Learn. Find you. Rinse and repeat. You will not be the same person you are today, not even a week from now. Not tomorrow. Not years from now. Life grows you and changes you … true … but the cool part is … if you navigate your life with reflection (see earlier point), you’ll grow yourself right on into the person you love … into being your own best friend!
Anything can happen anytime. Uncertainty is real.
- However, it’s also not the norm. Bat shit crazy terrible awful doesn’t happen all of the time.
- Notice how uncertainty got immediately lumped into bat shit crazy terrible awful? We’re funny like that. Probably cuz we don’t mind the happy uncertainty. If someone showed up at your door telling you you’ve won the thing you want to the most, you’d be all like, SQUEE, this is awesome! Not scared of it. Uncertainty is lumped with negativity, cuz it’s only the unexpected bad stuff that traumatizes us. Scares us. Teaches us to be afraid of uncertainty.
- If living without being afraid of life is important to you, find a way to live in peace with the uncertainty, knowing that pretty much on a regular basis, you got this. In all of the other times, lean back, lean on, share the burden and the weight with your loved ones, your support group, your peeps … the ones who mean the world to you, and you mean the world to them.
- And one final note … I am finding that if each day you live the goodness in your heart, be you, do you … then no matter what happens … you will live the life you should be living, your most meaningful life!
Honestly … the short of it is …
Seek an anti-inflammatory way of life … this means wellness for you physically, mentally, and emotionally (ditch the peeps who bring shiz into your life) … Live with gratitude, love, laughter, kindness, light, hugs, … goodness. Choose you.
And know I will be here for you forever!
Love and Big Hugs,
Mary Kate :0)