A beautiful blossom emailed me the other day. She told me she is going through some things, and that there isn’t anything she can do about it.
It truly sucks when life falls on you like this. It happens. It’s usually hard, seriously unfun, and oftentimes, it leaves us feeling terribly isolated, anxious, and depressed when it does.
So that’s what I want to talk to you about today. What in the world you can do when life falls on you, and the circumstances aren’t in your control? How can you feel better?
Spoiler alert … what can you do when life falls down hard on you? … you can take care of you … lemme explain …
How does taking care of you help?
When life gets hard, our survival mode usually kicks in, and our stress levels go up. If this life-falling event has a chronic, persistent flair to it – and it seems like it’s never going to end – our increasing stress levels can teach us how to ride a new, elevated baseline, which is great for coping. But for our long term health (mental, physical, emotional, … all of it) … it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!!!!!
These stress levels attack our bodies through the increase of a hormone called cortisol. Cortisol is produced by your adrenals, which are little organs sitting on top of your kidneys. It can be fatiguing to your adrenals to be on the constant alert like this. And the long story short = stress leads to inflammation, and inflammation leads to unwellness, even disease.
So. Life happens. And when it happens hard and persistently, we can get hit with a double whammy. Not only do we have to deal with whatever the unpleasantness of the moment/time is, it can lead to physical illness, and that just ain’t good!
Sooooo. When you can’t fix life – when you are trying to cope and waiting for all the pieces to come together and get righted – this is most definitely the time for you to invoke your right to self-care! And then to make time for it! This is a something that you can definitely do!
And only you can do this.
Plus you get to decide how much time you give yourself. Balancing you against all of your commitments (family, work, household stuff … whatever your long list is that I know is calling you) … this balance is definitely a challenge. But you are important! You are worth your time! And the good news is that you can even start small and work your way up.
Let’s hit some highlights:
There’s basic biology.
You can eat nutritious food. Grab a banana, an apple, a can of sustainable, wild-life-safe, wild-caught tuna. Add a bag of frozen blueberries to your next bowl of oatmeal. Nutrient-dense food helps your body heal and decrease inflammation.
Drink your water. That whole 8 glasses of water a day is a real thing. It helps you keep your electrolytes balanced and to flush out toxins. This helps you to heal and to decrease inflammation. Plus, insufficient water can, among many things, give you headaches and make you feel hungry. And you don’t need that on top of everything else!
Get enough sleep. Sleep is rest. Rest heals you. You must sleep, my beautiful love muffin. It’s so important!!!
Get some exercise. Walk. Run. Ride a bike. Punch a punching bag. Do some yoga. Get your blood flowing; help your body breathe and nourish itself. Studies show yoga changes your brain chemistry – it helps to regulate nerve activity and reduces stress levels. It can induce a feeling of calm. This is helpful and so very good! Even 10 minutes a day is better than no minutes a day. Help yourself feel better!
Take an intentional, calming breath every day. Even if you only have a moment. You’re in your car sitting at a stop light. An elevator. Standing in the shower. … Take a moment. Close your eyes. Inhale deeply for a count of 4 to 7, hold it for 4 to 7, and then exhale slowly for 4 to 7. This breath is just for you. It’s your moment. Your time. Your healing. Let calm wash over you and hold you.
There’s positive energy reinforcements.
Practice POSitude. Think, focus, and act on positive thoughts.
Reaffirmations. Talk to yourself with positivity. You can do this! You will heal! You are worth your time! You are worth your love! You are wonderful and have so much to share and love!
Practice gratitude. Tell yourself every day at least one thing you are grateful for. The more heartfelt and genuine your gratitude, the more healing and calm it will bring you.
Smiling. Seriously … it helps! Smiling makes you feel better. Add in some positive self-talk, gratitude, calming breathing … it’s a formula for feel better.
Color or create something. Creative energies exercised change your thinking, reduce your stress and anxiety, and increase your calm. I recommend coloring with your favorite colors!!! This helps me tremendously!
Journal. Write it out. Get those thoughts racing around in your head out of your head. Write them down on paper. Acknowledge them. Acknowledge any limitation or frustration you feel. If any actionable thoughts come to mind, write them down and figure out a way to do them if it will help you cope or solve your problems. Write out your feelings about what’s happening. And remind yourself your feelings are 100% valid. You can’t control everything, but you can focus on what you can do. And you can love yourself for coping through this challenge.
Laugh! Laugh out loud. Watch something funny. Read a joke. But laugh heartily. Every day!
Connect with a loved one! Get a hug! Share a moment. Have a cup of herbal tea with a friend. Go for a walk together and be there for each other. Connect, love, and hug!!!!
Love yourself! Think of something you do well. Be genuine and heartfelt. Focus on this something and love yourself for it!
All of these are shown to change your brain chemistry and to help you to feel better. Happier. Even if only for the moment. You are still helping you to cope, heal, and reduce your stress. And this is helping you to keep healthy.
And one last, super helpful thing.
Surround yourself with love and support, with people who will bring you up, and help you walk forward through this difficult time! Good people – special family and friends – in your life can most definitely make all the difference in the world!
And in the times when you feel yourself not coping as well as you need, reach out for help. Get the help you need! Talk to your doctor, therapist, counselor, spiritual advisor, life coach … someone who can dig the extra deep with you to get you past this hump. Get the care and love and help and big hugs you need!
When life falls down hard on you and you feel like there’s nothing you can do, know that you CAN do something.
You can take care of you!
Self-care and self-love are vital – and these give you something helpful to focus on. It gives you actionables, and getting things done helps us to feel productive and useful. And the actionables I’ve shared above will also help you be happier and healthier, so you are getting so much bang for your taking-care-of-you bucks!
Every day, I remind myself: Focus on what you can do!
What can you do when life tackles you? You can self-care and self-love!!! Certainly, these may not make the life beat down you are getting go away any faster, but they will help you to cope better and stay healthier while you are dealing with it … and that’s just gotta be a good thing!
Want to dig even deeper into your Self-Care? Snag your copy of my “Mary Kate’s Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!”
When you find yourself feeling low, negative, unhappy – doubting yourself – maybe your confidence has taken a bit of a tumble & your self-worth is low …
Grab my Be-Kind-to-You Interactive Self-Care Love Letter to You!
You can start feeling better and start smiling again!
Filled with empathetic & supportive Love and Big Hugs!
Delightfully cheerful & colorful art will lift & brighten your smile!
14 loving, big hugging, and supporting pages include proven feel better strategies:
- Reaffirmations & Positive Self-Talk
- Gratitude Acknowledgements
- Smiling POSitudes
- Additional supporting ideas to help you find your calm and happiness again through self-care and self-love
- Bonus Love-You Supports and Resources section
You can also check out my new ETSY shop!!!
Get Your POSitude On!
Feel happier! Supported! Loved! Hugged!
Bring brightness and goodness into your day, and into your life!
Get inspired every day with a deck of my new POSitude cards! Available in my Etsy shop. Check them out and learn more, now!
Thank you for being here with me! May your day bring you heartwarming goodness and be filled with positive energy!!!
Love and Big Hugs,
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